Resilience in the Face of Disappointment
Editor’s note: This piece is part of our “Failure Series,” where we examine the messy and difficult work of creating equitable systems. The ‘F’ word has a bad rep in global health, but the truth is we all fail. We encouraged Global Health Corps’ community members to share their own stories of failure to help inspire a culture where setbacks aren’t end points, but merely milestones on the way to progress. Enjoy!
If you’d like to join a community of changemakers who embrace failure as part of the process of changing the world, apply to be a Global Health Corps fellow today at ghcorps.org/apply.
I decided to write this story after reading many stories that motivated me to pursue my dream.
After finishing my fellowship year as a Global Health Corps fellow, I was confident that my post-fellowship experience would be wonderful. I was already interviewing with two interesting NGOs and I was proposed to manage and partner in two different business opportunities. I was excited about what the future had in store for me.
In this time of excitement, I didn’t neglect my spiritual community. One Sunday I went to my church as usual, and the apostle (our church leader) preached about “God and our money”, referring to Malachi 3:10 — “Bring all the tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house. And test Me now with this, says Jehovah of Hosts, whether I will not open the windows of the heavens for you and pour out a blessing until there is no sufficiency of room to store it.” The next weekend, the apostle shared an encouraging message about how our actions can move God.
These two Bible messages were the spiritual support I was looking for. I decided to act by faith and move with the Kingdom of God: I took all the money I saved during the fellowship year and divided it into two parts: I used 95 percent to sponsor the church building and five percent to invest in stock markets. My target was simple and precise: to get a financial miracle so wonderful that there is not enough room to store it, as the Bible promised.
The following week, I bought shares in two interesting companies with the remaining five percent of my savings. I followed Warren Buffet’s advice: “The right time to buy is when everybody else is selling and the right time to sell is when everybody else is buying.” I was proud of myself as I had kept my promise to God and trusted His Word, and I had made my first move by buying my first shares in the Rwanda Stock Exchange Market.
To my surprise, the opposite of my expectations happened in the next two weeks. The two NGOs didn’t contact me for jobs and my two business opportunities vanished. The first business opportunity was a deal my brother and I had with a Chinese company to distribute their soft drinks to local vendors. This never happened since the Chinese company found a bigger market in Egypt and proposed we buy their business in Rwanda at a price we could not afford. The second opportunity was to start a small real estate company with one of my friends who lives in Canada; he ended up changing his plan without contacting me.
I was not prepared for any of this, and regrets and doubts started invading my mind. I envied my former colleagues who got new job opportunities. Alone and depressed, all I could do was to avoid the inevitable question: “Where are you working now?”
I was mostly disappointed by the Bible, asking myself where the overflowing financial blessing promised by God was. Over the next two weeks, my happy, calm, comforting, optimistic self became moody, hopeless, and depressed. I lost my self esteem and my faith in God. The change influenced every area of my life: my relationship with others, my motivation to work, my decisions. All I wanted to do was stay in my room alone. I complained about God, the organization I used to work for, the organizations who didn’t call me, my parents, and anything else I could think of.
To escape, I decided to call my friends and share with them what I was going through, including my fears. Some of my friends had been jobless for two years while others had good jobs. It was comforting to open up to them without the fear of being rejected. I slowly started to go to church on Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays to resurrect my faith in God. On Saturdays, I met with a team at my church to practice and improve our interpreting skills. I also spent time helping my mom with her wedding decoration business.
I didn’t earn any financial income, but I realized that there is a life beyond the money-making world: a world filled with genuine love, where people accept and support us in spite of our financial status, beauty, IQ, or any other external fact.
Attending church services, getting involved in church activities, meeting with my friends, and participating in my mom’s business helped me emerge from my negative world. I didn’t earn any financial income, but I realized that there is a life beyond the money-making world: a world filled with genuine love, where people accept and support us in spite of our financial status, beauty, IQ, or any other external fact. Nothing can compare to the joy I felt when I was surrounded by friends and family who chose to love me unconditionally.
The genuine love was an encouragement to trust in God and in myself again. I moved from complaining to expressing gratitude. I started being grateful for God’s love, people’s love, my good health, food, my church, and most importantly hope for my future. Being grateful changed my mindset. I regained a desire to learn and pursue my dream. I started reading the Bible and books on entrepreneurship again. I developed resilience in the face of disappointment.
I found out that time is the most valuable asset in my possession, and I used it to invest in myself. In my free time I worked on my computer programming skills, studied Guy Kawasaki’s tips on innovation and entrepreneurship, and listened to motivational speakers like Les Brown.
Today I am more determined than ever to follow my dream, which is to be the richest African in the world. I am working on myself, praying, reading, and brainstorming ideas. I encourage others to do the same by sharing my story with them.
I am maximizing the opportunity I have now to invest in myself, trusting that it will pay off in the future. I am getting ready for the opportunities to come as I keep my dream alive in me.
The Bible says in Proverbs 14:23: “In all labor (work) there is profit, but idle talk leads to poverty.” Les Brown says: “It is better to be prepared and not have an opportunity than to have an opportunity and not be prepared.” I am maximizing the opportunity I have now to invest in myself, trusting that it will pay off in the future. I am getting ready for the opportunities to come as I keep my dream alive in me.
If you’re struggling, I hope this story has motivated you to keep on fighting. Do not lose hope or be discouraged. If your expectation is not happening, remember that you still have a choice to focus on the positive.
I am grateful to all the Medium writers who take the time to share their stories. I encourage you to continue serving the world because your story can save the world or inspire a mind that will will save it. I am grateful for the Medium readers for you are the reason we write. I am grateful for the Medium staff for you are the ones who make it all happen.
God bless you, God bless Medium.
