10 Steps To Loving Yourself

Amrita Shanker
SoulSutra
Published in
4 min readOct 26, 2017

Love is a simple word yet people tend to make it complex! U receive what you give and vice versa. Life is a full circle, if its dark today, tomorrow there will be light. If its day then its followed by night. If there is a head then there is a tail. Every thing has its own beauty. Difficult times teach us lessons to move forward in our journey and discover our inner strength. As very well said by Leanord Cohen

“There is a crack in everything, thats how light comes in.”

The truth is, before you expect love from others, learn to love yourself first. If you don’t love yourself completely, then why complain others don’t?

Be compassionate, loving , caring and responsible for your own well being. Maintain a balance between your mind and heart. Mind will always play tricks on you but heart will tell you the truth. Bring balance in your life by taking care of your needs, emotions and health. Dalai Lama says “The purpose of one’s life is to be happy.” For this you have to consciously make an effort everyday.

There are simple things you can do:

1. Exercise . Some form of physical exercise is very important to keep you moving. Maintain the physical strength to get through the day. Even 5 to 15 minutes of quick workout can be very helpful. Please take care of yourself give at least 5 mins to your health. I personally do yoga. It balances both mind and body.

2. Eat well and eat healthy. Its always good to have your meals on time and short meals at shorter duration. Please don’t deprive yourself of that, you owe it to your body. Choose the diet plan which suits you but have your balanced meal.

3. Pick up a hobby. Idle mind is a devil’s workshop. If you are not working full time, its more than necessary to pick a hobby or follow what you are passionate about. Daily , weekly , monthly what ever fits your current regime, follow your hobby. Keep yourself busy with constructive and creative things.

4. Learn to say No. Its OK to say NO for things you don’t want to do or do not believe in. You have not taken birth on this planet to please everyone. Its impossible to please and keep everyone happy so say no when you strongly believe it should be a No.

5. Have Gratitude. Believe me, this is one I can vouch for. Having gratitude and value of what I have instantly lifts me up. If you are having a bad day, think of the good things you already have in your life and feel blessed. There are many people on this planet who do not even get a single meal in a day. Always thank the universe for the things and people you have in your life.

6. Do service. There are so many people in this world who need your help. Do help others in whatever capacity you can without expecting anything in return. You will be blessed with lot of love.

7. Expect less from others. This one is tough but really works. Stop expecting others to give you what you can give yourself. Do not beg, even for love, affection, validation and companionship. It will always disappoint you. You are complete. Do not seek others to complete you. If you depend on others for your emotional stability and well being you will always loose.

8. Have faith. Have faith in your own power. Perseverance and patience can achieve anything in life. At least it will keep you focused on your life purpose. Have faith in your abilities and always give positive affirmations to yourself. Even if negative thoughts come, let them. The key is not to dwell on them. Slowly, but firmly replace them with positive ones.

9. Practice mindfulness. Live in the moment. You cannot change the past and cannot control future. So what do you do? You start living in the moment! Love what is. Every difficult moment will be replaced by a happier one that is the law of nature and universe.
Practice any form of meditation to control your thoughts. Living in the moment will keep you balanced and at peace also keep you connected with your inner self.

10. Do not be judgemental. Everyone has their own story. You just don’t know it. Its best to be compassionate than judge others. Its not always black or white, it can be grey as well. Judging others is like getting into a black hole of broken relationships. Empathy is the medicine that can be used to bridge the gap between you and the other, not judgement.

If you are already doing the above mentioned things, then my friend, you do love yourself and it will resonate with others and attract best in your life. If not, its never late to start.

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Amrita Shanker
SoulSutra

Vedic Astrologer, Numerologist, Tarot card reader, Holistic counselor.