3 Days Without You…
… and it has been the worst!
If I had known it would be like this, I would’ve never signed up for this shindig. But here we are, despite all odds, trying to be apart from each other for 3 days. It’s like CID finally stopped airing on TV, as everyone is watching it again on Netflix. Life hasn’t stopped running, pulse is still average and the world is still spinning, so all those cliched love stories were wrong,… (bummer!) :\ But they got one thing right, the fact that you wont be able to do anything else except think about that one person who you’re away from.
The first day was horrifying, to be modest. On a regular day, I’d just be whiling away time until I got that eventual WhatsApp ping from you, and an upward curve on my face would emerge. We’d be texting for hours together, not knowing the time pass by, and till quite recently, I thought life handled itself like clockwork, for once. But now, time just couldn’t go slow enough. At one point of time, I was caught staring at the second hand, inspecting if it went slower at one point of time (PS: it didn’t).
I kept constantly wondering, whether you would be thinking about me too, and for some reason, my heart just couldn’t seem to accept that possibility that it could be even remotely true. I tried to waver my mind with lots of others activities, but nothing did the trick. Facebook was the worst of them all. Out of the many notifications I received, including a bunch of idiots having signed up for Free Basics even without knowing it, was one from your friend, a screenshot of your happy chat together. To be brutally honest, on one side, I was really happy that you had someone to talk to, but on the other (and this side was a lot stronger), I couldn’t help myself but feel a sense of being replaced and forgotten.
The day moved on to be rather hectic, and finally, they dumped me work that I couldn’t possibly complete within the day, and it kept me busy, but it was when the day was about to end, and I was on the way home that I felt a feeling I never ever wanted to feel again.
Being trapped inside a hollow sphere, emptiness starting to creep in, no one else to speak to except the wind pushing into the helmet, pulse rising, heart pounding, random motorists honking and the occasional idiot who swoops in to take your spot in the traffic signal. This was just some of the many feelings I felt while on the way back, and it already felt like a horror flick (minus the traffic). It’s a miracle that I went home in one piece to be able to write this, cause at any given moment, I was either engrossed in thinking about you, or listening to the song playing on the stereo and relating its generic lyrics with you. At one point, I was about to lose control, but then I stopped and stared into the road ahead, just wondering what in the world was wrong with me that day.
Needless to say, I never felt like this before, and I knew very well, I never wanted to feel it again.
It’s the second day, and despite all odds, I got some sleep last night. I was awoken by my sister wailing on about her misplaced earrings that she just HAD to wear. It was routine that as soon as I wake up, I would send her a sweet message she would eventually wake up to see, but today, I kept my sweetness to myself.
I got ready and was given yet another chore to do, to drop my sister at her daily embroidery class. Being the sweet brother I am, I accepted this chore (after a battle I failed to win, of course). On the way to the class, we spotted a good place to eat, ‘South Kitchen’, and it looked really promising, especially their dosa. *wipes the drool off my face*
I started to see a change in me. When I was about to give my order, I blurted out that I wanted a Masala Dosa, which was weird, since I don’t even like it (I’m more of a Plain guy). This might not seem like a significant change at all, but it actually meant a lot. Masala Dosa was her favorite, and subconsciously, I felt like it could be a substitute for her actually being there. It failed, but the Dosa was yummy, so who cares.
I dropped off my sister and went off to work, … and then I reached. Because a paragraph ranting about how bad the traffic is from South Bangalore to Koramangala is just not worth it. Some things are just left to the night terrors.
It always gets hardest by the evening, the time I usually get to spend with you, and today at work, I did nothing but write this post and watch a few movies to keep her off my mind (it worked, the movies were great). But it’s when the movies got over, I was reminded that I had no one to share the unsuspected and amazing climax story with.
I left in a daze, mentally preparing myself to tackle the traffic on the way back home, and also to find something else to think about. The guys at the office were asking me what’s wrong, but I just didn’t have the heart to tell them… (or maybe I just wasn’t in the position to answer further on this crazy experiment we’re up to).
I always used to say, that you were my lucky charm and that I could never see my life running well without you in it. I don’t just say that to sound sweet, I really do mean it and these 2 days have proved it.
Hey everyone, this is his sister writing this post from here on out, and…
… I came across this unfinished document sitting on the Desktop just today, and reading it has brought me to tears. I believe I should clear up a few things, but before that, I would just like to say that it was the hardest thing for me to do to have written this, and while I’m not as good as my brother, I’ll try to finishing this one last piece.
You might have anticipated this from reading the last paragraph and would’ve gone, ‘WTF’, but yes, the inevitable has happened. My brother was caught in a motorcycle accident 4 days ago, while he was on the way back from work. He’s notorious for getting into accidents, most of his friends knew that, but never into this magnitude. Only after reading this story he was writing, did I truly understand why this even happened.
I’ve always known about the connection my brother and her had , and if I didn’t, their constant Facebook updates about each other were evidence enough. But what’s written here felt even more real, something pulled out of a movie, even. Considering the number of movies he used to watch, I’m pretty sure it’s a possibility that he’s picked off a few lines from them. But it felt as real as the tears rolling down my face right now.
I’m sorry I’m not able to write anymore, it just feels so uncomfortable to even sit and think about what happened, let alone write about it. It’s been a tough couple of days, and the three days without her seems a bit redundant now, kind of a misleading title too, once you think about it.
Feels a lot more like,
‘3 Days Without Her, A Forever Without Him’…
The End, and it’s for real this time.