Amy Pilkington
Published in

Amy Pilkington

Bragging While Complaining? You Are Not Happy.

Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

Ok, folks. There is something that needs to be addressed. I do not enjoy doing this, but sometimes things must be said. After seeing the same posts all over social media for many, many months, it is time for me to tell you like it is. Buckle up.

If the majority of your posts are telling people how good you are doing while complaining about others talking about you, you are bringing discontent to your own doorstep. The problem isn’t other people. Those people aren’t making you unhappy. You are, and it’s time to stop it.

Photo by Joshua Hoehne on Unsplash

Let me address the first part of that. If you are doing good, that’s great. People don’t need to know the details. It will be obvious. If you are spending a lot of time trying to convince people that you are doing good, then you’re doing things all wrong.

Don’t misunderstand what I am saying. It is perfectly fine to brag a bit. Got a new job? Brag. Got a promotion? Go on and brag. Started a business? By all means, brag. Just bought something? Yep, it’s okay to brag all day long. That isn’t a problem. The problem is many of the posts are dripping with desperation as they try so hard to convince the rest of the world that their life is superior because they need validation and approval. It is also an obvious attempt to insult those people who you are complaining is in your business.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

First of all, if you make all your personal business everyone’s business, you have no personal business. You have a public display, and that’s what is causing you problems. Move. In. Silence.

Listen, we are proud of your accomplishments. We want to see you brag about great things you have accomplished. We want to know when things are going well. We do not want to see lists of your accomplishments followed by statements like “people are jealous” or “everybody wants to be me.” That invalidates everything you bragged about it because you have turned it into a desperate plea for approval. Stop. You are inviting trouble into your life by practically begging for people to react.

Look, you are seeking validation and you aren’t going to get it like that. It will never make you happy. Your validation should be your own contentment in life. You do not need anyone else’s approval if you are truly happy. You don’t need to make all your business public if you are really happy in life. True happiness does not require approval. It’s internal peace, not a public display.

Photo by Colton Duke on Unsplash

Enjoy life. Brag about your accomplishments. Don’t invalidate your own achievements by adding a disclaimer such as “people are jealous.” That’s a pretty transparent declaration of your own unhappiness. Celebrate your victories. If you only view a victory as a victory if others do, it’s not really a victory. You should feel satisfied without approval. That’s the point — personal satisfaction.

Let me go ahead and address the second part of this. Stop complaining that other people are always bashing you while swearing you don’t care what others think. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t comment on it. The only thing you are accomplishing is putting your concern on display and inviting more back and forth nonsense.

Photo by Jose Aragones on Unsplash

Now I am not saying that you should never comment on an issue. I am saying not everything deserves commentary. Not everything deserves a clap back. Have you noticed that every action is met with an equal reaction? Yep. Every time you respond or complain, you are simply begging for someone to bring more trouble to your door. Stop complaining about it when you’re sending out invitations. The solution is simple: Stop inviting others to comment.

Do you realize that a lot of people do the things they do for attention? Oh, that includes you. If you are constantly carrying on about it, then you are asking for attention as well. See, the problem with giving people attention for bad behavior is the same as when you give a toddler attention for bad behavior. They are getting the attention they want and have absolutely no reason to stop. They can count on you to keep giving them attention. It is just so simple. Stop giving them attention. Stop entertaining them. Shut down the circus act.

Photo by Cyrus Crossan on Unsplash

Some of you just don’t realize how much misery you are bringing to your own doorstep. You cannot have peace and constantly insert yourself into conflict. And another thing. When you say people are jealous of you, you’re wrong. People have no reason to be jealous of someone who is obviously so unhappy. If you were happy, you wouldn’t try so hard to convince others you are.

While I am at it — stop worrying about whether people are jealous. That does not contribute to your happiness in any way. The goal isn’t to make other people feel any kind of way. The goal is to have your own inner peace, and you will not get that worrying about how other people feel about you. Sit back and let people do what they do and stop entertaining others. Your happiness does not depend on others, so stop trying to insert others.

Photo by Christian Wiediger on Unsplash

Do you know how to tell when you are really happy? It’s when you don’t feel like you have to assert to others that you are happy. It’s when you scroll right past negative comments without commenting. It’s when you really, truly aren’t bothered. If you have to comment, you are bothered. When you’re bothered over everything, you’re not happy. You are miserable. Change that. Change it now. Stop letting other people dictate how you feel. Stop giving other people that kind of power. As long as you keep giving your power to others, you have none.

Now go be happy. I mean really be happy. Be so happy that you truly aren’t bothered by the opinions of others. It will be obvious when you are. You won’t have time to entertain others. Let that be the sign of your happiness — silence.

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Amy Dodd Pilkington

Amy Dodd Pilkington

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Pilkington is an aspiring beach bum who enjoys travel and sweet tea. This published author has been featured in Health Magazine and many other publications.