3 ways to SHUT-UP
Almost all of our problems are self-created.
They start from talking.
Learn the art of Shut-Up.
Research shows the average person speaks at least 7,000 words a day, with many speaking much more than that.
What the research doesn’t show is that we are also talking to ourselves all the time.
Uninterrupted stream of thoughts (Like a river). The inner Monologue reflects our Self-Image, Expertise and Performance in every area of our lives.
“You can’t change what’s going on around you without changing what’s going on within you,”. Jim Rohn.
Even a Fish Wouldn’t Get Caught If He Kept His Mouth Shut: During World War II they had posted everywhere, an open-mouthed fish hooked by an enemy worm.
How to perform a positive action with a negative mindset?
Simple answer: Try going up on a downward escalator… Eventually you will reach up after a lot of struggles. Tired…
Awake or asleep, we are constantly talking.
The habit of unrelenting talking either to ourselves in our thoughts or with other people with no interval creates problems over our lifetimes.
When we talk with others, we feel relaxed, because it relieves us of the pain of talking to ourselves.
The Bible too teaches us… in Proverbs 10:19.
Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.
Let’s talk about Subconscious.
When something becomes a habit, it gets deep-rooted in our subconscious; we become unaware of it. The subconscious or automated part of your mind/body takes control of it.
Every thought, idea, decision, everything ever imagined, seen/ perceived gets accumulated for future use within the subconscious.
Memories are like a child’s Lego building pieces.
The subconscious mixes and matches these building pieces of memory to create present and future thoughts, feelings, emotions, words, actions and ultimately your character.
What we call the conscious mind is just a stream of thoughts, it is non-stop neurons firing from one part of the brain to another, with the help of neurotransmitters.
We make all our decisions at the subconscious level (Emotion) and we justify those decisions with our conscious mind (Logic).
The subconscious accounts for 95% of all brain activity.
Conscious Mind evolved for day-to-day activities and tasks.
Why is the Inner-Monologue so troublesome?
When tasks and activities remain incomplete (Example: If I want to finish this article today and I cannot do it, instead start another article or anything not related to this article, until I finish this article it would remain in my subconscious and nag me again and again) the inner monologue starts, soon one incomplete task after another become a lot of tasks and the pile gets bigger.
Then we try to multitask; we do not have the faculties to multitask.
We cannot read over one word at a time. If our mind is on anything other than driving, then we are not in control of the car.
Being able to remember the exact sequence of events, causes and effects, is vital to survival.
In theory, every bit of long-term memory has a sequence code, or something that serves a similar function. If we are not consciously aware of an activity, then the sequence code does not register therefore cannot be stored long term.
Muscle memory. This makes us believe in our ability to multitask. It’s why we don’t have to relearn to walk or drive every time we do so.
EGO!!!
The EGO exists to give us a perception of self or self-image. The inner monologue reflects this perception, because the ego makes us feel stable/ wanted/desired in this world and in return causes all the pain.
The ego is the problem: posing as a solution, and we try to defend the ego, it becomes a constant battle of you with you which leads us to exhaustion, frustrations, stress and anxiety.
“The principal activity of brains are making changes in themselves,” Marvin L. Minsky
Emotional network (dynamic complex patterns of brain signal coordination) of the brain uses neurotransmitters to create basic signals like pleasure, stress, and fear, mainly the principal activity of the brain.
The inner voice (EGO) never rests from constantly testing our self -worth, endlessly comparing with everything and everyone around us.
It’s only purpose is to make us believe that when someone possesses something that we don’t have, they are better or happier than us, but this is an illusion, it’s called maya according to Hindu scriptures. (The perception that the other person is happy because they possess certain things of value.)
The Un-Observed inner voice (ego) becomes a never-ending source of discontent and the driving force behind incessant desires and problems in our lives.
Even if we can get all the things, which the ego (Inner Monologue) perceives for us to be happy, our happiness is usually short-lived and there will burst out another perceived shortcoming that we must fulfill, and on and on it goes.
We will always remain unsatisfied because of our inner monologue or constant stream of thoughts.
The subconscious is always working on the stored data (Lego Pieces), assessing and prioritizing the value of the data to share it with the conscious.
That is why silence is very difficult, because silence really means breaking the monologue within. It is not a question of not talking to someone else.
Moun, or silence, has nothing to do with others; deep down it is concerned with our own monologue.
What should we do?
1. We need to understand and Observe our inner dialogue (Metacognition) thinking about our thinking. Easier said than done. Take responsibility for all your actions, thoughts, activities, and stop blaming. You will feel a sense of empowerment.
The world and society owe nothing to an Individual.
We cannot blame others for our faults. (If the fish just kept its mouth shut, it wouldn’t have got caught, the fish cannot blame anyone else for being caught).
Result: Increased Self-Confidence and Self-reliance.
2. We have overdeveloped emotional networks, (constant distraction from social networks), because of which our awareness has remained underdeveloped.
The inner-chat bypasses any conscious processing, it just fires straight to the prefrontal cortex, driving our behavioral response, without us being aware of the cause for our behavior.
That is the reason we are always reacting to any outside stimulus, “reaction is slavery”, this slavery is self imposed. People know our triggers, they know our buttons, they press it and we react.
Just like when we push a button on a machine and it performs accordingly.
Action is pushing the button — → Re-Action is performing as ordered.
We need to understand everyone has their point of view, if their point of view differs from yours, it’s ok… I walk away in confrontal situations by saying “You are right”.
Start a Journal, just about anything… your feelings, anything… this really calms your inner voice… I start with “Today I noticed”.
Result: Clear-Purpose, Expertise and Prepares you for just about anything you want to achieve.
We are literally the average of the five people we spend our time with.
Get rid of any negative and toxic people.
I believe Warren Buffett said choose your friends wisely and learn the art of saying NO!
Result: Unshakeable Character.
3. Become the Master of Your Life, Coherent, do what is good for you in the long run. Be prepared, slow down, be spontaneous.
When we shut up our inner chattering, we develop a presence of mind. Whatever may be the situation, we can tackle it.
Respond and not re-act.
When we have silenced our inner conflicts, we are no longer compulsive; we listen more and talk less.
AWAREness is the key to open all Locks
Be Aware of what you are consuming.
I mean always… If we are consuming gossip, small talk, music with no purpose, CNN (Compulsive Negative Network), FOX, thoughts about our past or mistakes, no purpose podcasts, etc.
Then how the heck are we supposed to have a silent mind?
Our emotional network will always be busy.
It just doesn’t work like that, no matter how hard you try.
Take inventory of the social media accounts, people you follow, books you read, who you listen to daily and other things you are watching, even food…
Ask yourself, is all of this really helping me?
Am I growing mentally?
Was I born dumb or something happened along the way?
If not, watch something else, trade these negative shows for more positive and uplifting YouTube videos, watch more documentaries, or listen to more soothing music, and read articles.
Result: Enthusiasm, you will develop Self-Discipline and in return will have a more positive Self-Image.
With our inner monologue at peace, all feelings and emotions like anxiety, anger, reactions, hate: Vanish.
Everything becomes one and infinite, just like nature.
Nature is one, but it is — infinite.
“Success is found in Silence” Shiv… that’s me. I believe in this.
David Foster Wallace said it best:
“That 99% of compulsive thinkers’ thinking is about themselves; that 99% of this self-directed thinking consists of imagining and then getting ready for things that are going to happen to them; and then, weirdly, that if they stop to think about it, that 100% of the things they spend 99% of their time and energy imagining and trying to prepare for all the contingencies and consequences of are never good. In short, that 99% of the head’s thinking activity consists of trying to scare the ever living shit out of itself”. DFW, Infinite Jest.
