A Mall Encounter

Stranger things do happen.

Photo by Kleomenis Spyroglou on Unsplash

Just nothing like the Beatles.

They out did them all, even in the psychedelic category. Utterly incredible, they were. God, they must’ve had fun putting together Magical Mystery Tour. Then again, maybe not that much. From what I’d read through the years Yoko wasn’t always a joyful cup of tea. It’s a wonder anyone joined the real world after that altering album came out.

One could ask, hell, what’s the point? I was sitting in the mall and listening to some of my favorite music, minding my own business.

I noticed an attractive woman walking my way. Well, the mall was overflowing, she wasn’t really, like, purposefully coming in my direction. She held what looked like a red flannel blanket tightly to her chest. Her other hand worked at wiping away tears.

Suddenly, she slipped and fell on her knees in the middle of the busy mall. She wasn’t five feet away. I got up to help. Christmas shoppers just kept walking as though nothing happened, as though they hadn’t seen the young woman on her knees. I think no one helped because I was already there. Her tears covered her face. She never let go of the small blanket, as though a baby in her arms.

A quick look revealed she carried nothing. Here, let me help you up. Can you stand? Here, take my hand.

No, I can’t let go of the baby, can’t you see?

Why yes, I see, I see there’s nothing in the blanket. Now, would you like for me to help you up? She cried a torrent of tears. What in the world was bugging her, anyway?

&&&

They refused to let me hold my baby at the hospital.

Say what? What baby?

She said, my baby was born three days ago at Brokaw Hospital. My husband, or I should say my baby’s father, couldn’t come because he was playing softball. He will not be my husband for long. My brothers told me they’re gonna take care of the dog. He smacked me up, and I got preggers and then he just up and took off, the sob.

SOB indeed, I thought. What sort of undesirable human are we referring to here? Her choice of the words ‘smacked me up’ got my attention too. Maybe she was trying to say… what ever.

What was the father’s name? Bubba? What? Bubba Louie? He’s a huge weight lifter? Why’d she tell me that? Suddenly I imagined being bitch slapped by big and hairy weight lifter Bubba. Oh okay.

Now I’m slipping into that slightly uncomfortable zone of too much info. Oh, so what name did you give your, uh, baby? Stillions, huh? Okay.

So, let’s see, we have to find a place for you to sit, just to rest a moment. What’s your name? Melissa, that’s a pretty name. Oh, my name’s Carny, yup, as in Carnahan. What’s so funny?

That’s a hilarious name, you know. She had such a pretty smile. She must’ve been early twenties. Star quality crossed my mind. I held her gently as we walked to a bench oasis near a gray, pebble surfaced planter overflowing with a large bush with small, yellow flowers... Right next to us were three, boisterous women changing a baby’s pooped diaper. The woman in charge tiredly whipped the soiled diaper out from under the screaming infant. In one swift move tossed it into the trash bin causing a morsel of green, yellow shit to land on my shoe.

Our eyes met ever so briefly, the woman who looked as though she’d had the worst day of her life, she locked onto me as though a heat seeking missile, daring me to complain. I didn’t.

The mall was getting even more overrun with Christmas shoppers, laughter, complaining, talk, yelling at kids. The canned music was unintelligible.

Stillions she’d named her invisible baby. Oh sure. Hi Stillions, hi there, kiddo. You’re a cutey too.

What the hell would you know if he’s cute? Are you humoring me Carnola, or whatever name it is you give yourself cause your ma never could’ve called you that, no way.

Look, hon, Melissa, where do you live anyway? I can help you get home.

Oh no, I’m not going back there. No way, Jose. Brokaw and I don’t get along.

Wait, you live in Brokaw?

Brokaw was one of Wilmington’s biggest hospitals. And yes, they had the largest state run psychiatric residency in Indiana. I knew that occasionally these not well folks would make a break for it and they’d be found wandering the streets of our mid-sized town.

Maybe you can take me home with you, Carny, you’re sort of cute. She twisted coquettishly and, at the same moment, catching Carney’s sweeping eyes. She caught me appreciating her obvious delights. I can have all the babies you want she said. We could start right now.

As though she could switch it on then off in a heart beat.

You mean, like what? No, no Melissa, look, we need to find some help for you. Here, look, I have my car in the parking lot. Let’s go to my car and we’ll drive to Brokaw.

Jesus, I’ve got to get her to somewhere. Brokaws is probably looking for her right now. Over the PA system, a voice called Landry? Landry? Please go to the food court immediately. Repeated over and again.

Her face shriveled in horror and was immediately engulfed in a shrill cry full of tears. A distraction? I couldn’t be sure. I didn’t know if she was reacting to the announcement or to what I’d suggested.

Most of the shoppers walked past averting their eyes.

One elderly woman stopped and asked if everything was okay. Melissa quickly and convincingly said she suffered from painful corns on her feet. She deftly slipped off her blue pump, showing the woman what appeared to be a perfectly healthy foot.

She did this as she held on to the invisible Stillions. The older woman noticed this odd sleight of hand but said nothing about it. It was when Melissa pulled out an ample breast and offered it to the invisible baby that she must have sensed something wasn’t quite right. The young woman with the invisible baby now squeezed and produced a healthy flow of yellowish, white milk.

You see Lamey; you see what I mean? He doesn’t take my tit. See? What am I doing wrong? The elderly woman looked behind her to see if there in fact was a Lamey and realized Melissa had called her by that name.

Before the woman called Lamey left, I heard Melissa mumble something to her that made absolutely no sense. She said something like, is it believable? But that seemed ridiculous and I let it pass.

Oddly, a young man who was one of a small group that was walking with the elderly woman quickly took a picture of what appeared to be both me and Melissa. They walked on. One of the group shook her head back and forth, a hint of a smile.

Carny, could you please hold Stillions for me so I can put my tit back in? Her breast was wondrous but I ripped my eyes away to take in an utterly boring Christmas tree.

Again, the insistent voice on the PA, Landry, Landry, please go to the Food Court.

Carny obligingly reached out and received the proffered baby.

For an instant I was sure I felt something, a jerk. I even heard, no, sensed, a faint cry.

I’d just been ‘ifed’ as in, what if…