Be Careful of Toxicity in Small Doses
Any portion of toxicity is a red flag- Guard your mind
We have heard the term toxicity used in speaking about toxic people, toxic positivity, toxic masculinity, and toxic relationships. But did you know that toxicity can be in the form of a simple statement? Negative statements made by others can impact your mental health if you are not careful. It may be subtle, be cautious about what thoughts you allow to enter your mind.
You may have a friend or two from time to time who may say something that leaves you with serious doubt or perhaps you have a friend who seems to dismiss things that you share with them. Be watchful of the frequency and intensity by which this occurs.
I have a good friend who when I look back has inadvertently posed a critical question about positive news I shared with her and on another occasion did the same regarding a practical move I was making for myself. In the first instance, she seemed to be congratulating me on the exciting news but then hinted that I would be faced with something that I might not be accustomed to without adding an effective outcome. The other situation was when I shared I was moving onto something new in my career and the suggestion was that the job was very vigorous, again ending without an effective outcome.
There is a fine line between constructive feedback and toxic communication.
When conversations leave you feeling different from your initial happy or even neutral mood to one that is now a bit melancholy, you may have experienced brief toxicity.
And there’s this other friend (sigh) who whenever I share something that I observe to be one way, she almost quickly says the opposite.
Toxicity can be a way a person operates generally (their modus operandi) or it can be a shot in the leg the person delivers every once in a while. These occasional blows are worth observing. For one, these infrequent moves can accumulate and stir you into a whirlwind of uncertainty about yourself, your abilities, and even the way you perceive situations. It may also have you question whether the friendship is worthwhile. However, you now have an internal radar and you can decide to set boundaries or you can decide to limit the time you spend interacting with the person.
We not only have to take care of ourselves but we have to take care of our psyche. We have to guard our minds!
Most recently there has been attention given to big-name celebrities and their voice as it relates to mental health. Simone Biles the American gymnast, Naomi Osaka the infamous tennis player, Lady Gaga, singer, and Prince Harry are saying #mental health matters.
As our culture shifts towards a greater sensitivity to mental health wellness and other issues such as the LGBTQ struggle and the fight for social justice, we can see a swinging of the pendulum. A lot of this is good stuff until we get to where we want to “cancel” people and programs automatically without delving more into their history, etc. (sigh)
Guarding your mind, as well as your heart, are ways to self-care. Checking in with yourself daily is a good self-care practice. At the end of the day, asking questions to yourself and reflecting on the day will allow you to release any toxic thoughts you have lingering. Practicing mindfulness and being present is the lingo we use to describe this process.
Each day we get to become a better version of ourselves but we have to let go of ruminations and negative thoughts. We have to instead lean into positivity and speak well over our minds. We can be our worst inner critics or we can be our biggest cheerleaders. Let’s show up for ourselves, be good to ourselves so we can show up for others around us. Let’s guard our minds to create a happy place we can feel comfortable residing in.
Be careful how you think, your life is shaped by your thoughts. Proverbs 4:23 GNT
