Birds Flying for Hope?
within the grounds of re-thinking learning hopes
Fledging days ?
I live a primitive life…
The reason is that I self-sacrificed my whole entire career as a full time architectural student.
The fact that I knew my keen instincts as an architectural designer was off the topic.
It’s not that I’m making a better choice or not, it was just my way or own saying that sometimes you needed a break from everybody.
I knew something didn’t feel right.
The learning, educational system wasn’t right, the fact the moment I was robbed away, I couldn’t stand it.
It made me not human anymore, I felt like a tinkering learning monster, who wanted to learn more, and learn more and advanced more in my tinkering in architecture.
In my standards, I always been picky when it came to designing, I was very picky.
I loved drawing anime characters and drawing art and doing free-lancing and architectural.
I was always passionate about doing architecture.
But the fact, the architectural school, limited my ideas, and told me my designs were ethically wrong, something had to be changed. The fact that I felt depressed, overwhelmed and felt a loser, and even helping others at the same time, I thought it was better if I didn’t exist.
So, I planned a vacation home.
A vacation home, where my parents can’t touch me and my colleagues to contact me.
I know I made the wrong move and the wrong error, which made the school tell me to take a gap year after the circumstances that happened.
I’m pretty honest here, I branded myself for a month of learning, but the fact the business architectural school didn’t like anything that I was doing.
I never entered the school grounds. But the fact is my attitude was pretty bad, because I was stressed.
I’m an imperfect architectural designer. There’s no human being that can be perfect.
The law enforcement thought I was an abnormal 19 year old who was doing architecture for many days.
But’s true, I was doing it for days and couldn’t sleep a wink. Because the syllabus changed for a week and another week.
Even if we did the work, there was still something wrong with the teaching.
I needed to sleep for a long period of time in order to wake up from other people.
It wasn’t because I was suiciding myself, I did it to learn the primitive ways of what was happening in covid-19.
My parents didn’t want me to study and told me to take a gap year. Even my dad told me it was too much.
They didn’t know the fact I was there studying and collecting data sampling of real-lifes and real people, I met.
I faced horror, for about 5 or 7 days, I was always crying and emotionally depressed.
When I came out I felt like a kid. But a kid who was still into architectural designing and tinkering and learning architecture.