Codependent (Victim) Tactics vs. Narcissistic (Abuser) Tactics
At the beginning of my healing process, I often confused the difference between codependency and narcissistic abuse. Because I had been gaslit for the majority of my life and my narcissistic or abuser parents had projected their negative traits onto me, I often saw myself as the perpetrator. What’s more, when a codependent or victim spends too much time with an abuser, they naturally take on some of the narcissist’s traits because it’s the only way to get back at them. The victim also merges with the abuser, taking on their identity, trying to see everything from their point of view as a way to protect themselves, thus losing their own sense of identity and their own point of view.
I wanted to jot down a quick difference between codependent and narcissistic tools so that a victim and survivor can look at it side by side and finally understand all the tools that a narcissist will deploy during a simple disagreement or argument.
For the sake of simplicity, I am not going to go into more technical terms such as narcissist by proxy. To keep things simple, I am using the term victim, survivor and codependent interchangeably. I use the term narcissist and…
