Confessions of a Juice Bar Drama Queen
Yes, I got fired from GNC, and it was MARVELous!
No, I won’t peddle your borderline steroid and rat infested food and pills!
No, I won’t be your token Black female employee for you to look less racist and misogynist.
No, I am not going to lie to sell your unnecessary products that are so “healthy” and “educational” but are anything but…
No, GNC products cannot combat COVID-19…
No, I won’t clean the lids of bullshit powders to look busy when I can do my NUTRITION GRADUATE SCHOOL homework to be of better service for customers coming in!
No, I won’t shame people for their size to make commission!
No, I won’t sell sleeping pills to people to make more money!
Yes, same man sleeps better at night due to my advice instead of buying pills!
Yes, a video game fan will benefit from playing Wii Sports and Dance Central over buying your damn vitamins thanks to me!
Yes, the class action lawsuits against GNC have merit!
Yes, GNC is using Evander Holyfield for his money!
Yes, I have multiple streams of income that helps society!
Yes, there are gym owners who are my allies.
Yes, Mr. Hollister-esque got the promotions that I busted my ass for who BRAGS about his steroid needle usage in broad daylight!
Yes, I made a scene in a mall and didn’t give a flying f… who saw everything!
Yes, I laughed with a customer about diet pills and that I said in Spanish “No es seguro [unsafe]!
Yes, I am a nonfiction Storm & She Hulk [hence, MARVELous :-)] and use my anger to act like a superhero!
Yes, I got physically assaulted by a GNC customer I wanted to help but she would rather listen to someone with cruel intentions so, frankly I don’t give a damn.
Yes, the best form of revenge is personal success!
Yes, I am someone you can trust for AUTHENTIC nutrition and fitness advice!
Yes, I am blessed, no longer distressed!
Yes, your liver naturally cleanses your body better than any juice on the globe!
Yes, I am dramatic but a cooler cucumber nowadays!
Yes, it does pour when it rains but positive energy also works that way: it’s metaphorically sunny in my world!
