Terrorism under the disguise of abuse.

“Our priorities are askew. Our leaders talk a lot about international terrorism. I often talk about domestic terrorists, by which I mean the day-to-day crime that is even more devastating to our cities than the episodic threats from overseas.MICHAEL NUTTER, Philadelphia mayor, in Time (July 2014)”

In this case The Mayor is talking about domestic terrorism happening in our cities in the form of shootings, robberies, etc. and of course it is our civic responsibility to be cognizant about it. Of course we feel the pain every-time we see brutal murders, infanticides, babies being abandoned in dumpsters, rape, acid attacks and such sufferings discussed in the news.

But what about terrorism happening at grass-root level? Terrorism happening in the confines of our homes within our social circles amongst our family and friends sometimes in front of our eyes? Terrorism towards people we care about, happening under our very nose, robbing them off their dignity, their mental health, peace and well-being, killing their self-esteem? How often do we turn a blind eye, deaf ear and a dumb attitude towards it? Maybe because we think it is ‘none-of-our-business’. Or maybe since we want to ‘fit-in’ the social circuit and don’t want to jeopardize our social status and the so-called socio-economic clout we seem to cling on to so dearly. Does it not fall under any of our responsibilities? Not even our responsibility to support basic humanity?

There could be monsters frolicking around us hidden under their charismatic personalities, charming us with their magnetic flamboyance, batting eye-lids at us or enthralling us by their nobel doings(whatever works for the masses) while committing heinous deeds on the very person they go home to when nobody is watching. Sounds very cynical? Bitter maybe? Not something you want to relate your world to?

But it is the unfortunate truth and maybe you will see it if you look deeper, hear what is not said and maybe find it hidden beneath a chivalrous and perfectly shiny armor after all.

Domestic terrorism could happen to any of us no matter how smart, intelligent, educated and courageous and sometimes under the most ordinary of circumstances. And ‘Speaking Up’ could be easier said than done if you are at the receving end.

It comes in several forms — spouses, colleagues, room-mates, parents, etc. Some other synonyms for domestic terrorism are emotional abuse, bullying, threats, physical abuse, non-consensual sex (it is not as black and white as rape and hence not very openly and/or socially discussed). Yes, these are all very real and more traumatic than we can imagine.

Of course we have heard these words before. But how often have we thought of these in context of our very own social network?

Or maybe we have. Maybe we have even used these to make our coffee-table conversations more interesting. And maybe we surprisingly emerged as highly opinionated on how people should go about their lives under such traumatic circumstances. Maybe we have even passed judgements on those who gave up the fight against and simply endured such acts of terrorism for reasons we could not confer, while sipping our fancy wine.

But how many of us made an effort to show compassion, really try and understand, empathize, support, just be there for them in their personal battles, really stood-up for them at the cost of loosening some of our socio-economic ties. How many of us have said “I hear you” and then gone ahead to really mean it?

Well, so what do we do about it then? What can we do to help them? How can we identify monsters causing damage to our loved ones? What if our loved one is actually in fact one of the monster?

Handling their temper, addictions or inflated egos is not your responsibility. But saving your mental and physical self or the mental and physical self of your loved one from them is. And sometimes all you need to do is to be there for them.

The biggest battle here is the battle between you and your inner-self, especially if the ‘terrorist’ is someone close to you and the victim is nobody else but you. Listen to yourself, because deep down you know the truth. And deep deep down, you also know what needs to be done.

No matter how seemingly complicated, grey or hard to confer, domestic terrorism needs to stop. And in order for it to stop we need to speak-up no matter who the terrorist.

So, the next time you make a snap judgement about a person, a family, a relationship or the death of it, think twice. Think deep. Be aware.There could be a lot more to it than (lack of) bruises and hence ‘evidence’ (not) visible to the naked eye.Stop terrorism. Because the world is really too beautiful a place for such things to prevail.

Note: This article is not meant to suggest ways to handle abuse. The intent of this article is to make you aware that it is a lot more common than we would think. Feel free to share and spread awareness.

Originally published at https://www.facebook.com.