Do not Seek Advice to Follow. Seek Advice to Brainstorm.
If following advice were a path to success, I wouldn’t have been lost when my adviser stopped advising me. And the 32 million readers of Rich Dad Poor Dad and the other million+ readers of How to be Rich should be millionaires.
In all the advice people would give you, you should know that they are giving it from their perspective. And irrespective of how they pretend to listen, they’ve already decided what they want to say to you before you seek their advice or, at the earliest moment, they heard the topic of discussion. If the adviser knows you before the discussion, that’s even worst. They have judged you; they have had an image of you in their head, and they would be advising you with their lowest form of knowledge of you. It is called “thin slicing, according to psychology, making assumptions about you with the littlest knowledge of what they know, and could be as thin as your appearance or accent.
I am not saying you should not seek people’s advice or not take it. Or maybe you should not take it. But what I am saying is that people’s advice is flawed. Because 1. People like to judge. That is probably why we were warned 19 times in the New Testament to not judge, one of the most apparent warnings in the bible. A testament to how susceptible we are to fault-finding. You should have noticed that instead of them advising you, you’d find them judging you, as is often the case with me. Some advisers are very good at hiding their judgmental selves, and they would make you feel like they know you well enough to judge you.
Survivorship bias.
2. We all have survivorship bias. Bite Size Psych made an interesting video in 2016, analyzing why we should not trust successful people’s advice. If only people had listened, the likes of Elon Musk and other giant Crypto investors would not have had such an influence on the market. But we all have this bias; we all seek advice from those we think are better than us, those that are more successful. And in most cases, they are either showing off, boasting about their success, or influencing you toward a targeted outcome. Do not be fooled. Let me ask you, how do you feel about someone giving you advice on how to invest in crypto and make millions now? Pure market manipulation.
It would have been nice if we did not have such bias. It would have been nice if I did not have it some years ago when I was trying to get into University and brainstorming about my course of study. I should have stuck to the brainstorming. But then I went to talk to a friend who had been at the University two years earlier, whom I thought was more brilliant than I am, to seek advice. He was telling me about his course, or should I say he was advising me to study the course. Years later, when I was done doing the course, I realized he was not urging me, he was merely justifying his decision to study that same course, and I fell for it. As much as I always like to be responsible for my actions, I messed up. Lesson learned; we move. I hope I am enough lessons for you. Learn, don’t be a lesson too.
It is best to seek advice from the failing or failed as much as we do from the successful. For a fact, seek much more from the not-so-successful because “why people fail” is mostly factual, but luck plays as much role in the success story of people, whether they want to admit it or not. And that takes us to number 3.
Luck
3. Luck is an important factor in all of our lives. Dr. Joe Abah, in a series of tweeted arguments, claimed how vital luck is when it comes to success. Nobody is disputing hard work and determination, nor is luck a substitute for brilliancy. You see, luck will present an opportunity, and it is your job to make it a success. What do people mean when they say keep working hard; your time will come? One thing that I would point out is that luck does not just happen to someone once. But after being successful, people tend to play down the effect of luck on their continuous success.
We have seen a successful business fail, and we have seen ‘brilliant’ people go bankrupt. If they are super smart, how did they become stupid enough to lose everything they have worked to build? Unless you think one mistake is enough to bring it down, then I have no words for you. Yes, of course, one stroke would break the camel’s back. But we barely notice how often the camel has been struck until her back starts to ache, and it eventually falls, which is mostly already late. To say you haven’t been lucky in your journey to success is to claim to be extremely smart and brilliant. Perhaps you are a genius. But then, I am not sure I should follow your advice because I do not have the wisdom to tread your path, not as much as you do.
I am not one of the failures Earl Wilson was referring to when he said, “Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.” I do not believe success is simply a matter of luck, nor did I say it is. I only said luck plays a significant role. As much as I hate that quote, he is right, and I can only direct my anger toward those who blame destiny for their failures.
Imagine seeking advice to follow from someone whose success’s foundation is solely based on luck. Or who was helped by their network of intelligent and influential friends and family, but would not admit it. Unless they think having such people as friends, especially as a family is by their effort, then they were lucky. Following such a person’s advice would lead you nowhere unless you are lucky as well. And your luck might not lie in that path.
We are different.
And finally, 4. We are different. People’s situations and problems are dynamic. Life is not some computer that comes with a manual on how to fix it. Or is it a code that requires the knowledge of some expert to debug. Irrespective of your situation, many great pieces of advice would not always apply to you, which might even worsen your situation in the worst case.
Anywhere, everywhere, and anytime, saving money is a bit of great advice. But I consider it not as great for me right now.
I come from a very humble home, where we are mostly needy, and for us, at the time of writing this, want is a luxury. So, when people advise me to save and tell me why it is good and how it would save me. It does not apply to me and my situation. From what do I save? To save is to live below my earnings, which at this time is not enough to live a basic life. One day, the advice to save will be helpful when I am no longer needy.
Therefore, whenever you seek advice, seek to gather points, see yourself in different mirrors, and only seek a better understanding of a situation. Remember, there are thousands of ways to get things done, and there is your way to get them done.
Following people’s advice would only take you as far as they want you to go. If they are people that would help share the responsibilities of your failure, then good. As long as you follow their advice, they will be willing to help you. But how long will you depend on someone else to grow? I made an early and risky decision to go out on my own, seeking no advice to follow. The pace of my growth is slow, and most times, it feels like I am alone in this world. Maybe I am alone. But I enjoy the freedom that comes with it. The responsibility. The authority. And nobody would share in the glory of my success. I am strategically building a foundation that is independent of anybody but me.
Do not get me wrong, and I seek people’s advice daily. I read more of people’s opinions too. It helps me think, and it helps me make calculative decisions.
