Humor
Everything is Cake!
It’s absolutely mind boggling how many things we didn’t know were actually cake this whole time! We’ve all seen those videos on Twitter of people cutting into various items- a bottle of lotion, a roll of toilet paper, a single Croc- only to realize they were all just pieces of cake disguised as these other common objects.
That got me thinking…
If these items were just pastry all along… what other every day things could be masquerading-cake? What else might be an entirely fabricated idea waiting to be sliced open with a knife only to expose their spongy innards?
Here are some things that I have deduced must be cake due to their complete lack of tangible believability.
Reverse racism is cake!
Cut into it, and a pasty white cake chock full of vanilla ignorance will be found.
The concept of beauty is cake!
This microscopic mass of baked good is unrealistically shaped and airbrushed thoroughly for photos.
American liberty is cake!
While it may appear that this cake has “all men are created equal” written on top in red frosting, it’s actually the blood of the baker.
Money is cake!
Always distributed unevenly, these tiny cells of cake are usually invisible to humans, but can still be traded for other goods and services somehow?
Blue lives are cake!
This is another white cake, this time with blue frosting. People who eat this cake tend to avoid chocolate options.
The gender binary is cake!
For some reason, people tend to only recognize two types of cake as a genuine desert. They are missing out on a lot of delicious flavors.
Time is cake!
It’s actually an illusion and cannot be physically sliced. You can’t even see it. Or taste it. Is is there?
Heterosexuality is cake!
You can’t tell me you’ve never had thoughts about other flavors. Scientifically, taste is a spectrum.
One size fits all is cake!
Each one precisely the same in height and diameter, these bite sized sponges are really only meant for the smallest sweet-lovers despite the advertising.
It’s all cake.
EVERYTHING IS CAKE!!!
Am I cake…?
