Gaining Perspective Through Pain
The Social Media Post that Changed my Life and Prevented a Suicide
I was chatting with a woman one day on a social media platform, and her post read, “I just want a friend that I can talk to.” I felt compelled to comment and asked her how she was doing, after a flurry of responses, I started to regret not just scrolling past her post.
I continued reading and realized that she was in severe pain. Her husband & best friend had passed away in a car accident two weeks ago. She was in a rural area, had no children, and was contemplating suicide.
After the initial shock of reading this, I asked if she would like to do a video chat, she agreed. She spoke until the battery died on my laptop, I just listened. I could hear the pain in her voice; she was trembling. She had lost her soul mate, the one person who understood her; they were building dreams together; there was so much they had not done yet.
I grabbed my fair share of tissues as she talked, and was shamefully relieved when my battery alert popped up. I told her that I needed to go and made her promise to chat with me the next evening. “Don’t do anything drastic, life is good, and you can overcome this tragedy. “ She promised, and we set a time for the next chat.
My only thought was keeping her from hurting herself until she could see that the pain would fade eventually and that at 38, she had so much to offer the world.
The following day I grabbed my stuff and waited for her chat, an hour after our scheduled time I got no response when I texted her, no response on the video call, nothing at all.
My thoughts went dark; could she have done it? I had a knot in my stomach. I chose not to think the worst, but could not shake the feeling.
I went on with my week with her in the back of my mind. Hoping that she had called a family member or a distant friend had come to stay with her. Anything was better than suicide.
Over the next three months, I thought of the woman now and then, wondering if she was OK and hoping that she had taken my plea of not hurting herself to heart.
It was a Sunday morning that I was sitting at my desk doing paperwork. When I got a chat alert on my computer. I didn’t recognize the email but answered anyway.
There she was, alive and seemly well, she said that she had checked herself into the hospital. She heard my words and realized that life was worth living, that she still had things to do, goals to accomplish, and promises to fulfill to her late husband.
She said something that has stuck with me. She told me that if I had not reached out to her and been willing to listen to her story. She would have taken the pills she had laid out in front of her, that she would have ended her life. Fighting back the tears of relief that she was still among the living, I thanked her for letting me know that she was doing alright. She thanked me for reaching out.
I get the occasional email from her, she has sold her home in the rural area, to live in the city. She has returned to school and is doing volunteer work for the suicide hotline. She is making a difference in the world. Realizing the value of simply asking for help when you need it, even if its from a stranger.
The pain of losing her husband is still there, but she cries less and finds joy in photos, and the memories of their past. She is slowly learning to live without him and holding on to the memories she has of their life.
We all have busy lives, we are moving so fast, and time is valuable. Why would we stop our lives and make a commitment to a stranger? I don’t know why I did it, I just know that it was one of the most important things that I have ever done. I didn’t save her life, I allowed her to take some time and help herself, and I take great pride in that.
I had no idea what was going to come from that post, but I have to say that it was time well spent, no regrets. I spoke only a handful of words during that conversation, what I did do was listen, and sometimes that is all a person in pain-needs.
