Learn how to negotiate in 10 steps

Negotiation is an art, isn’t it? What about the science behind it? Learn it now by implementing the 10 simple steps.

Remember Rick Harrison of Pawn Stars.

They say you either negotiate or you suck up with the guy who knows how to.

Do you negotiate on a daily basis? If your answer is “No”, you gotta think again after reading this👇

1. Snoozed your alarm clock followed by an inner voice who conveniently convinced you to skip your breakfast, get a coffee on the go and still make to work on time.
2. Drove 20 above the speed limit convincing yourself that it has never caused any problem ...
3. Exceeded your calorie intake….and made a promise to run an extra mile or two tonight in the gym or tomorrow on the track.

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Alarm snooze! Yeah! I do that all the time …So we are really good at self-negotiation…isn't it?

Let’s get to the science of negotiation, a practical approach I have tried and tested.

Prepare Yourself Before Meeting

1. No beal deal!

Tell yourself repeatedly by calling out loud or writing in your journal that it is no big deal to become a great negotiator. You have been doing self negotiation all the time, it is just that this time you have to negotiate with another person. If you could acquire enough information about that person, you are all good to go. We will see various methods using which we will profile the other side before and during the meeting.

Let’s start with what the 35th president of the United States John F. Kennedy said —

Let us never negotiate out of fear, but let us never fear to negotiate.

2. Dissolve your fear.

I was a wimp but then I learned to win by knowing everything about bartering. I soon realized that if I want to live 💯 times in one life, I should read, read, and read. To develop that habit of reading which I feared since childhood, I developed a reading schedule based out of self-research and that helped me to win all my fears in less than 10 months.

As Philip Yancey says —

“Knowledge can dissolve fear as light destroys darkness”

The first book that I read on negotiation was Chris Voss’s “Never split the difference” followed by many more. And since you are reading this article, you are on the path to win any negotiation. Congratulations!

3. Know what negotiation is not?

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Negotiation is not defeating your opponent. It is an act of figuring out a standard workable deal where both the parties involved have their interests best served through mutual agreement. It has to be a win-win situation for both sides. Win-loose is old school now.

4. What should not be carried on the negotiation table?

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The human mind is programmed to dislike people who are steadfast and stubborn even when they know nothing about them. It makes you ineffective in grabbing any available opportunity or indications which could be crucial in profiling the other side. So be polite, smile while you talk, and make them like you because if they will not like you, they will not offer their best. Here is a golden rule to make them like you.

5. Half battle won if you could implement ‘ 7–38–55 rule ‘

— 7 % holds for the words.

— 38 % is taken care of by your tone in which you speak.

— 55 % is controlled by your body language.

This rule is as hard to implement as simple it is to read. You may need to practice controlling your emotions and outbursts or any kind of negativity imposed on you by the other party.

6. Control anxiety by “labeling”

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Some negotiators may try to put pressure on you so that you chicken out and settle for just good enough. Or they may try to provoke you to get more information out of your guts. So when I feel intimated:

1. I know I don’t have to utter a word.
2. Instead, I observe the negativity, without being judgemental.
3. Then I give a label to each negative thought that I come across.
4. Labeling shifts your brain activity to the part of the brain that governs rational and analytical thinking.
5. Next, I try to come up with a positive solution that helps me think compassionately and fundamentally keeping in mind my interest.

7. Know your floor and ceiling.

1. Write down the best you expect and the lowest you can accept out of this deal.
2. Know your BATNA (no-deal option), the best alternative to a negotiated agreement if negotiations fail and an agreement cannot be reached. This will help you walk away from the deal instead of settling for the worst.

But make sure you have done an accurate and comprehensive check before deciding your best, worst and alternative actions. A good enough deal in hand is better than an unreliable and unvalidated BATNA in the bush. Do not trick yourself in making a wrong decision in hassle.

To do’s while on the negotiation table

Now before meeting the other side, you are prepared mentally, with your best, worst and alternative numbers in mind, you know you got to smile, keep your tone polite and soft, body language relaxed, pointing towards them showing you are actively listening, no aggressive poses or hand actions, replicating them.

Now the next step is to empathize with them, understand their situation, and identify their true interests.

8. Build rapport to do profiling.

1. Ask questions. A lot of them. Even if you know what they are trying to tell you, act as if you don’t know that already.
2. Be a good listener, acknowledge their fears when they share one with you, it diffuses their sense of insecurity and help them share more.
3. Frame followup questions such that they finally get to say “That’s right”.
4. As per “Chris Voss’s book “Never split the difference” the sweetest two words in any negotiation are actually “That’s right”
5. In nutshell, build rapport by —

— Mutual attention and involvement

— Positivity

— Coordination

During this phase, you will be guiding the conversation such that the other person feels he is leading the talk. And then..

9. The final step to know where the bull’s eye is!

What they say they want and what they really want are not always the same. So try not to get wrapped in the other side’s position ie what they are asking for, instead focus on their interests. Once you know their true interest, you would be able to validate your floor(The least acceptable) and may even raise your ceiling(The best expected).

Separate the person — the emotion — from the problem

10. Don’t put your proposal first and then justify it!

Now once you have a pretty good idea of their priorities, time to put forward your own. But never propose a number first. Because if you propose a number first, that becomes your ceiling and you may never know how much they were ready to offer. Another drawback is, once you offer the number, the other side stops listening to your reasoning and starts formulating a response in their defense.

But in case you are forced to propose first do this:

1. Propose at least 40% more than your best-expected number…
2. Do not break the silence if there is silence in the room, don’t worry just let the other side come up with a response..
3. Now when they will say something, you will have an upper hand as you have noticed their response which is directly linked to their true interest and their ceiling. It is a precious piece of information in negotiation theory.
4. Observe whether your extravagant number annoyed them or they thought over it and said “No”.
5. Making the other side say “No” is a big win because negotiation starts from “No” and it is then taken on the road where a big “Yes ” is waiting.

After you have confirmed your validations, repeat the trick where you try to build rapport by understanding their situation and reasons for “No”. Eventually, after a few iterations, it’s almost certain that they would agree on your Ceiling.

Negotiation is just like any other body muscle. The more you use it, better it gets. If you practice and follow these 12 tricks in the order religiously, you will realize that negotiation is more of science where you can control the output rather than just art.

Folks, to conclude I really feel good to share my learning on Negotiation techniques in the series of tricks articles. If you have any feedback or questions related to negotiation, please feel free to comment in the comment box and I will surely reply back asap. I will be more than happy to talk in case you want to practice for your next round table or just any personal questions you may seek advice on. Wish me luck with writing a trick every week. Till then…

Chao..