How Great Leaders Use Their Superior Humanity In Hard Times
“There’s likely a place in paradise for people who tried hard, but what really matters is succeeding. If that requires you to change, that’s your mission.”
- General Stanley McChrystal, U.S. Army Retired
Being in the military was one of the most stressful moments of my life. I was in charge of people and planes.
It was a circus full of mistakes, deadlines, and duties.
I led expensive and costly projects to keep the planes flying.
The job taught me about planes and being a good mechanic and technician.
It also taught me that people are either there to help you succeed or watch you fail.
Throughout my time, I learned that making a big mistake humbles the soul in a way that nothing else does.
Having to look at your superiors and explain yourself is the worst — it’s sickening.
The mistake feels like an open wound that everyone else can see but no one can save you from.
No one wants to make mistakes, and in the military, doing something wrong can be a career ender. Your mistakes become part of your identity.
You become the black sheep
Leading Up to My Monumental Mistake
I was never the best in my mechanical abilities, but I was always known for being a hard worker.
I knew this, and I worked hard to compensate for the things I lacked in.
However, there comes a time when you’re forced to take uncomfortable and challenging tasks.
I went from a regular worker to being in charge of the shop and inspecting planes.
I also managed the work tasks set out by the squadron, and I ensured the people below me worked safely.
Even though I worked hard in my new role, I failed to foresee a possible accident.
I wasn’t truly in the wrong when the mishap happened because I didn’t do everything possible to ensure a safe job.
No one was hurt but parts were destroyed, meaning that I was held responsible for those parts.
When Too Much Broke Me Down
There’s only so much stress people can manage before completely falling apart, and I was already on the edge before that mishap.
After the incident, I was a complete and unbearable wreck.
I felt guilt and shame, and I couldn’t look people in the eye. I had become a statistic.
I let the world down, myself down, and it happened because I pushed too hard to impress others.
To top it all, my commanding officer told my immediate superior to have me expect a talk.
I thought he’d give me a slap on the wrist since things were cooling off.
Instead, he started talking about having me give a presentation to the entire squadron.
This might seem ok to some people but it was worse than death for me.
First off, I hate crowds; it’s why I write. I will have a thousand panic attacks before any presentation.
Second, I thought my voice disappeared because I couldn’t answer him.
When my mind could finally focus, I just said, “no”. He then said that he wasn’t asking, and I still said no. I wasn’t there.
I was on a space ship leaving Earth.
He went from angry to concerned because he saw something wrong in me. He analyzed the situation and chose to act in kindness.
During the same conversation, I finally agreed to the presentation and apologized in a sincere way.
He didn’t push me any further, and I am forever grateful. I think I remember going home that day and drinking myself to sleep.
It wasn’t until a week later that I learned his officers would make the presentation.
They did a great job and didn’t drag my name through the mud.
Great Leaders Think Then Act
Even in your own life, I’m sure there’s been times when you acted before thinking and got hurt.
It happens to all of us. But the greatest leaders think about their subordinates, their people.
That officer was the only one to show real compassion to me in a long time. I wish I would have thanked him.
I just don’t think it would make sense to him, what he actually did.
By taking an extra second to think, he saw that I needed help, real help. Pushing me further would have been a bigger disaster.
If any leader can learn from this experience, I’m sure they’d see that their workers and subordinates do need help.
Sometimes it’s just a small act of kindness that they’re looking for.
