How to Stop Repeating the Same Harmful Behaviors or Mistakes

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An Idea (by Ingenious Piece)

6 min readNov 8, 2021

People repeat the same harmful behaviors throughout life without thinking much about them. Usually, this happens because they follow their emotions or beliefs rather than logic.

Do you always find yourself in similar situations? Why does this keep happening? Is the world plotting against you?

Doubtful, chances are the culprit is your subconscious.

After all, it’s actually running everything in your life by using your beliefs and emotions. Then, we embed these mistakes by repeatedly doing them. Over time, we get comfortable with these stressful situations despite how destructive they might be.

So, if you having the same problems, then you’re probably habitually doing something to cause them.

When you repeat good or bad behaviors you hardwire your brain to continue doing them. Each time you do anything, the habit is ingrained deeper in your mind.

Thus, making it an enormous challenge to overcome.

Luckily, it’s possible to defeat these habitual behaviors.

Examples of detrimental behaviors:

Everyone has habits they can’t seem to stop. No matter how much they try to change, it’s a never-ending pattern.

These annoying issues will keep showing up until you learn what you needed to from them. Only then can you be victorious over them.

If you feel like you keep hitting the same wall, then try the following tips to stop habitual behaviors.

1. Identify your most damaging behaviors, bad choices, or mistakes

Man yelling. — Photo by Marina Kazmirova on Unsplash

“Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.”
— Abraham Lincoln

First, you’ll need to realize what default behaviors or choices you’ve made that didn’t end well. For instance, maybe you always choose the wrong people to date and it’s a constant disappointment?

Or perhaps you keep ignoring important tasks at work? Maybe you discourage yourself with negative self-talk?

Whatever holds you back, write it down and move to the next step.

2. What were your beliefs or thoughts before had these behaviors?

Man thinking about his negative behaviors. — Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

“If you want to change your world, you need to start cultivating good habits.”
— Mina Tadros

Then, think about what situations or thoughts lead up to you making bad choices. Maybe you were reacting emotionally and not using calm logic?

3. What are the consequences of continuing these behaviors?

“Depending on what they are, our habits will either make us or break us. We become what we repeatedly do.”
— Sean Covey

Ask yourself what consequences you’ll have to face if you continue this pattern. For instance, you could get fired, divorced, or harm your health. Note the potential aftermath of repeatedly doing destructive behaviors.

Then realize how it isn’t worth it.

4. What can you gain from defeating these behaviors?

Imagine what it’d be like if you overcame the obstacle. Maybe your business would flourish or your relationships would heal?

Keep in mind the potential benefits of conquering these behaviors.

5. Think about the times you triumphed over these habitual behaviors

“Choices are at the root of every one of your results. Each choice starts a behavior that over time becomes a habit.”
— Darren Hardy

It’s helpful if you think about the times you triumphed over this issue rather than when you failed. While realizing that you made a mistake is valuable, dwelling on it can have a negative effect.

So, write about the times you succeeded and how you were feeling. What did you do beforehand? Relive these moments often.

7. How can you ensure you don’t make the same mistakes?

“If you pick the right small behavior and sequence it right, then you won’t have to motivate yourself to have it grow. It will just happen naturally, like a good seed planted in a good spot.”
―BJ Fogg

Now, it’s time to plot and scheme how you will defeat these detrimental behaviors. What will you do the next time you’re triggered to make an awful choice?

For instance, if you have a big assignment your boss gave you and you think, “I have all month to get it done, I’m going to relax.” However, you know that you’ll procrastinate all month until it’s almost due.

So, force yourself to work on it for at least 15 to 30 minutes every day. That’s easy enough to accomplish so you don’t procrastinate.

8. Take action and practice doing different behaviors

Practice doing something else instead of the old behaviors. — Photo by Towfiqu Barbhuiya on Unsplash

“Excellence is an art won by training and habituation.”
― Aristotle

Most important, you must do something different from usual. If you don’t switch things up, then nothing will ever change.

You’ll enter the same dead-end relationships or jobs. Or you’ll complain to your friends about your weight, yet never eat healthy food or exercise.

If you want a better life, the only one who can give that to you is yourself. Refuse to deal with the same tormenting issues and make a change!

So, make a backup plan when you usually make the same bad choices. Maybe put healthy snacks where you used to store candy?

It‘s always beneficial to have a list of better options ahead of time.

9. Accept that you might make mistakes

“Habits are important. Up to 90 percent of our everyday behavior is based on habit. Nearly all of what we do each day, every day, is simply habit.”
— Jack D. Hodge

Don’t expect that you’ll never mess up and do the old habit again. Remember that it’s deeply entrenched in your brain, after all.

So, have some self-compassion, it’s not the end of the world. Afterward, get back on track, check your progress and make adjustments.

10. Set realistic goals

Work on one habit at a time so you don’t get overwhelmed or quit. If needed, you can take baby steps as you build new brain pathways to more beneficial default behaviors.

Over time, these will take over the old habit and you won’t have to try at all.

Healthy behaviors. — Photo by Andrew Dinh on Unsplash

In the end, detrimental behaviors can hold you back in life, but you can conquer them with practice.

Don’t identify yourself with your actions; you aren’t your mistakes. You make mistakes because you’re human. Although, you’re a step ahead because many people never learn how to overcome them.

Focus more on the times you were successful. It’ll be difficult at first, but soon you’ll be so glad you eliminated these damaging behaviors.

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