I Contradict Myself

Conviction scares me.

Exploration is what I flirt with.

The universe is for you; for me, I am the multiverse.

I am merely recycled stardust that temporarily lodges at this pale blue dot—a place I believe is home - I almost claim it with full conviction.

Yet, I also know I will soon be among meteorites.

Oops, did I just contradict myself? Or am I not giving up on my idiosyncrasy that has been long forgotten? Curiosity!

But..

Beyond the battle of conviction and contradiction, there is a dangerous locale i.e.,

Home could sometimes be a lonely territory.

Dark.

Cold.

Solitary.

I wonder, what could give solace to a restless soul?

  • That home is stranded..?
  • Or a possibility of being surrounded by many undiscovered allies in the neighborhood?
  • Or, unknown foes..?

But then comes to the darkness and the questions start to fade until I fall asleep only to wake up among stars; friends and a lover who know I did lose my path but wandered off.

Ah, my true home is where I am among my fellow stars who like to stray every once in a while.

Just to come back to where it feels right.

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Dr. Aisha Sanober Chachar

Dr. Aisha Sanober Chachar

Consultant Child & Adolescent Psychiatrist; Co-founder & Director @synapsepk Mental Health Entrepreneur. Recycled Stardust.Balint Group.Psychoanalysis.Grit 🇵🇰