It’s Ok to Hope Your Ex’s New Relationship Sucks Just a Little Bit…Right?

Am I being selfish in hoping that my ex-girlfriend argues with her new boyfriend over some of the things we used to argue about?

Syd Ghan
An Idea (by Ingenious Piece)
3 min readSep 27, 2020

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Via unsplash.com/@jeshoots

My ex-girlfriend recently made things official with her new boyfriend. She seems happy. I wish her all the best, I really do.

I was the one who put my foot down and decided to end things. We were not happy together. We had nothing in common and we were always fighting. I still care about her a great deal but I knew that if we stayed together we were just going to keep hurting each other. That wouldn’t have been fair to either of us.

We have kept in touch on and off since the relationship ended, which probably wasn’t the best decision, but it’s the end of the world. I’m not about to turn down having one more person to talk to. I even sent her a message congratulating her on the new relationship.

Turns out the two of them are already living together. Yeah, I thought it was fast as well. Especially since up until a month before she started dating him, she was still sending me messages about us getting back together.

So yeah, it’s a little weird for me to see her in a new relationship. Since we’re still social media connections, I’ve watched the relationship progress on my news feed. I’d also be lying if I said I hadn’t sought it out on occasion out of pure curiosity. I’m only human.

I’ve now watched the beginnings of this new relationship walk the same steps that our relationship took, and I can’t help but think that this new one may be heading down the same path.

…Or maybe I’m hoping it does. Our relationships probably couldn’t be more different. I wouldn’t know, I’ve never actually met the guy. On some level, it would probably be cathartic for me to know that she’s about to go through the same thing with another guy. Even though my brain knows that our relationship was never going to work, and even though my thinking self really does hope that she’s found someone more like her who she can get along with and talk to openly and honestly, I’d love it if they could maybe just have a couple of fights about the same things we used to fight about, just so I know definitively that I’m not crazy and that I did the right thing by ending it.

Or whatever, maybe one morning she stubs her toe on the way to the bathroom and she thinks of me and she feels sorry for a second before moving on with a long and happy life. Maybe I’d be ok with just that. Is hoping for something like that really so bad?

Yeah, it’s bad. Ok, I’m sorry. I’ll get back to trying to be a good person tomorrow, I promise.

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