It’s Okay to Be an Alcoholic: So Long as You’re not Drinking Alcohol
It’s okay to not be able to handle alcohol. What’s not okay is drinking alcohol if you can’t handle it.
For some people, having a few drinks means exactly that — a few beers and they might get drunk but that’s it, end of story. What a lot of people don’t seem to recognize or appreciate is the idea that for some people, a few will always lead to more. This is called addiction or being an alcoholic. It has a bad rap for obvious reasons. Remember how Uncle John embarrassed everyone at the Christmas party a few years ago? Remember when Shelley crashed the car into the shed because she thought she was okay to drive? We all have stories — whether personal or involving people we know. I believe the official term now is “alcohol use disorder” which has a less accusatory, more understanding tone. Regardless of the label, having a disorder doesn’t mean you’re not able to live a productive, fulfilling life — so long as you avoid drinking alcohol.
I know a person who’s what you’d call a “functional alcoholic” meaning she can tolerate an unhealthy amount of alcohol and not appear to be affected. This is equally — if not more — dangerous because to the people around her, she often seems fine — and she would concur. It’s much easier to be in denial about a drinking disorder when those around you are encouraging you to have another and you’re still able to carry on a conversation. Eventually however, it always catches up to her and knowing her as well as I do, I can always see the signs.
When she finally acknowledged she had a problem and wanted to change, I encouraged her to let her co-worker/friend know so that she wouldn’t be tempted to have a few when they got together (this was pre-pandemic). Her “friend” told her, “you’re worrying too much. One or two won’t hurt you.” I can only rationalize that this person was worried that she too, may have a drinking disorder or mistakenly thought that was the implication, was ignorant to the fact that everyone is different — or selfishly, didn’t want to lose her drinking buddy (if a friendship is dependent on drinking alcohol then I have serious concerns about the validity of that friendship).
Now that we’re in a global pandemic I’m aware that many more people are consuming alcohol which may (or may not) lead to a problem. My worry is that, much like the stigma of mental health issues sometimes prevents people from seeking help when they need it, so too is the case with alcohol use disorders. So please, if someone confides to you “I’m trying to cut back” or “I think I’m drinking too much,” rather than downplaying their fears in order to downplay your own, respect his/her concerns. Just because that person can’t drink doesn’t mean you can’t. Some people can have a few beers and be fine and some people will never be able to play the guitar. We’re all made differently and what’s good for one person may not be good for another.
For those who are struggling, please don’t be ashamed to get help. To me, someone who has overcome an addiction is stronger than the person who never had one. It’s a mental and physical battle that can alienate those around you — not to mention we live in a culture that tends to link alcohol with celebration and reward. And to those who are able to imbibe with restraint, please don’t chastise the person opting for water; don’t be an enabler. As a person whose family has been affected by someone with alcohol use disorder, I thank you.
