That’s the plan.
As the days pass by me I often wonder how my life would be If I’d taken a different decision on the day I was asked what did I want to be in the future. I said I wanted to be a scientist, I was just a kid then, with hopes and dreams. Don’t know how did they both got lost, but I guess time took it’s course.
I’m now just an adult with responsibilities I can’t start to deal with and feelings I keep losing about everything. I was a kid who believed in love, now I don’t even consider it a thing. When I was asked what did I want to be, I should’ve decided that I wanted to be happy and nothing more.
Funny thing though, it’s a decision I can still make but somehow it doesn’t happen. It never happens. I’ve been taught that in life nothing comes for free, but no one told me that life will take everything from me, if I’m not careful. How was I supposed to know that wanting something would cost me my everything.
Now I don’t take those long walks in the parks, it just gets lonely. I don’t cry anymore because there’s no point. I don’t have time to wish for anything because my hands are full dealing with things around me. I can’t put a finger on where did things go wrong, and I know that no one can.
But I’ve also learned this, ‘you can change the course of your life’. And I keep thinking how can it be true. What do I have to do, to make it happen. There can’t be a magic spell or anything that would help me achieve that, no. I can’t go into the past and change it either. What difference would that kid even know of or understand. What can I do.
To think that something can be so impactful that it would change everything. Oh why not, there it is. A decision. If I make a decision today that I will give my best to this life and try hard to be where I’d love to be. Then maybe in a couple of years I will. That will be the happiest day of my life and it will be because I made that decision and stayed true to it. Maybe someday I will have nothing more to complain and cry about, yes, that’s the plan.
Thank you so much for reading and I hope you’re doing well. You might have already heard this but let me remind you, ‘nothing is impossible’ and so with that we part happily. Have a good time.
To read more visit me at my blog The Caffables