My Best Buy During the Pandemic: A Therapist
Three Reasons to Book Your Sessions Now
Hello, #SundayReaders! I am back with more exciting stories. I’m going to open up about my mental health journey and share tips from my therapist so mental health care could be accessible for everyone! Also, in 2021, for personal development’s sake, I am fully committed to listen to at least one podcast per week and write an article about it to share with you so we all can develop together!
If anyone was wondering where I went: I was on a journey to find myself back after being lost for a while. October 2020 hit me the hardest as many turns of events in life became quite overwhelming. It was to the point where I almost decided to stop trying in life and get comfy with my failure. But, in the spirit of ‘healing’ for a better future, I finally decided to seek good professional help.
Though I understand that in this era that we live in, mental health is still a privilege. Most of us -like myself, struggle to pay for sessions, or have to save up, or do side hustles to afford ‘help’. A good hour of consultation could start at 75 USD which is equivalent to approximately 300 MYR or 1 Mio IDR — click here to read what therapy is like around the world.
The cheaper option — which I used to do back in 2018, is to grab a bottle with friends, party all night and swipe the emotions away under the mat until the dust piled and exploded. Being stuck at home for such a long time in 2020, and having to face this pile of dust every waking hour is such a scary thing. There’s always an escape pre-pandemic times, but these days, there’s no escape to it! So in a year of loss times, I found myself and built the courage to start my ‘healing’ journey.
I’ve been having routine sessions with my therapist, Valentina (not her real name, I haven’t asked for consent to share her name so let’s just call her this!) since mid-October. I committed to the time and cost I have to put into my sessions because I see it as a good long term investment. I realize that my past has meddled a lot with my adult relationships (with my partner or with my work, or how I make friends). In the future, I always want to have a beautiful functioning family and raise great children who are surrounded by my good friends. To be able to do this I believe I need to untangle what’s unconsciously still tangled inside me. So to Valentina, I go, once every week or two, depending on how much I can afford on that month.
My personal experience with Valentina has been great. We’ve mostly done distance consultation because of the ongoing pandemic who’s literally driving everyone crazy to the bones including both Valentina and me. She’s doing a great job in helping me realize my patterns and reminding me to break the chain. She validates and challenges my emotions from time to time without failing to make me feel safe and not judged.
Long story short, I can sum up to three points on why seeking professional help would straighten you up:
1. You have a safe space to consult and discuss your issues without being afraid of judgment, punishment, exile, or rejection.
A therapist — at least from my experience, is a neutral zone, in which you can discuss everything. My suggestion is to approach every session with an open mind and an open heart. Your therapist aren’t mind readers so always open up to your therapist’s responses and suggestions. Communicate what you think would be right for you and keep an intention to heal before every session so both your therapist and you are on the same page.
2. Therapists can help you untangle what’s tangled.
Obviously we cannot rely on them to heal us, it is our responsibility to do so. But, since we are most of the time the worst judge for ourselves, your therapist will always challenge these judgments and remind you to be kinder to yourself.
I think, the difference between a friend and a therapist is that a friend will tell you suggestions based on their own experiences and how strong your relationships are with them — hence probably going to be biased. But, a therapist would be neutral, logical, even most of the times, they’d respond based on theories and data. To me, this puts logic to my emotions and reactions which help me stay put in the present rather than overthink.
3. They’re a good reminder that emotions are there to tell you things unresolved within you or to tell you that it’s okay to need and receive help.
Your therapist will often remind you of things you forget to do such as being kind to yourself, being grateful for life and simple things, remind you that things eventually will work out and you just have to stay strong and get through your issues. They’ll be able to help you think through your emotions and help you construct the best solution to your problems, yourself.
I think those are the main three points that I can share on why my sessions with Valentina is one of my best buys during these hard times. I don’t only have a therapist-patient relationship with her, but she’s also like a friend to me. She gave me the professional comfort I’m looking for and help me understand the present and distinct between thoughts and reality.
Moving forward I’ll be sharing with everyone as much as I can about what I’ve learned from Valentina that helped me back on track and regain my confidence to keep moving. I mean, apart from my own will that probably sits 60% of the decision, she played a huge role in keeping this number at 60%. I hope everyone has the privilege to seek the help you need, but if not, I hope my future articles will be a good enough help for you.
Cheers,
Tiara
