MY NON-NEGOTIABLES

A couple of weeks ago, someone asked me what my non-negotiables are — the things that are not up for discussion, the things I am unwilling to compromise. I couldn’t answer right away, and that startled me.

If you had asked me three years ago, I would have been able to answer that question with clarity and confidence, but many things have happened in the last three years. I know I compromised more than I thought I ever would. Not being able to answer the question left me unsettled.

The original question went unanswered for a week or two. But I knew I had to re-assess and get reacquainted with my non-negotiables. It is essential for my mental, physical and emotional health.

I can now answer that question. Here are the things that are no longer up for negotiation.

Freedom — When I am getting ready to take on something or thinking about saying yes to something, my first thought is, “will saying yes to do this add to my freedom or restrict it?”

My home — my sanctuary, where I feel safe, lick my wounds, and take care of myself. If someone’s energy is disturbing my home’s energy, they won’t be invited. Hard stop!

Forgiveness — I will forgive, but that does not mean I feel obligated to continue or re-create a relationship with them.

Values — we can agree to disagree, but if what we disagree about conflicts with my values, we will not be in each other’s lives.

Work — not at the expense of my freedom and personal life. I get paid for providing my expertise, my wisdom gained from my education, and years of experience doing my work. It cannot and will not be my entire life.

Time — there are times each day that are mine alone. These do not belong to anyone else. I will not give them up.

Space — I will take space. I will not make myself smaller so that no one feels threatened.

The list is as simple as the emotions behind it are strong.

What are your non-negotiables? Tell me everything you want me to know.

Nukhet