We Must Stop Meeting Only At Funerals
Dedicated to my workmate Gary Boyle, whose funeral us old farts David Finch, Chris Barret, Bob Ford and me attended together
We’re longstanding friends
It has to be said
But now we only ever meet
To remember the dead
Wearing our black tie
Over the lump in our throat
Honouring the departed
With an apt anecdote
To me, nobody seems to age
But then mates never do
Because everything is relative
And you’re ageing too
Camaraderie never dies
It gets stronger as we grow
Old and wise
We’re bonded by the glue
Of triumph over adversity
After all we’ve been through
The nitty and the gritty
We’ve climbed the same mountain
Roped together
Enjoyed the view
Moments we enjoyed so much
May be long gone
But cherished and remembered fondly,
They live on
Expertly filtered by the rose-tinted spectacles
Of time
It’s life’s big pantomime
Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Old fart to old fart, discussing art
And advertising
Not finding it surprising that,
Like our friend, it has simply passed away
And, like us all, has had its heyday
We’ve graduated from the University of Life
With Honours
We celebrate our diversity
And tell stories of our strife
Put the world to rights, sipping beer
Expounding shaky theories without fear
Raising a glass or three to this and that
Pretending, believing, hoping what
We say and do is not old hat
But not really minding that
We’re no longer relevant
Imagining that growing old
Has somehow made us elegant
We now all cherish every breath
That ironically takes us one nearer to death
And now, like never before
We give our swansong performances
As eager youngsters wait
By the stage door
For us virtuosos, or is it bozos?
Who knows or cares what they think
We cast our pearls before swine
Take another drink
And like a fine wine we give up
The mature bounty of our knowledge
Sharing our so-called wisdom
With people still at college
Sitting like Buddhas
Spouting forth like geysers
Old geezers
Balding wheezers
But always crowd pleasers
Young designers still mention us
But as old sage pensioners
Yes, it’s time we met for another reason
Before we play our last game
of the football season
Hang up our boots
And our flash suits
Get some beers in, pick up the phone
Or the next funeral we meet at
could be our own!
Boyz, these are the new rules
We must stop meeting only at funerals
