Ten Intense Emotions that Gripped Us in 2020
In retrospect, 2020 has been characterized by strong, at times all-consuming, human emotions.
This blog is a snapshot of some of the feelings that kept us awake at night, led our hearts to beat faster, moments of joy and laughter, or tears of sadness or grief. Feelings have crossed international borders, lasting days, and generating long nights for some. For many, 2020 brought few silver linings and it is a year to be forgotten. For others, 2020 had special moments that gave the year meaning or they felt that they learned a lot.
In sum, there have been a diverse range of subjective experiences of 2020. Each of us had a unique emotional experience of an ever changing and turbulent year. On the other hand, owing to the global nature of the pandemic, there are many emotions that most (if not all) of us felt, at some point or another, the intention of this blog is to briefly review some of these here.
1. The feeling of anxiety
The pandemic was linked with a global surge in anxiety. Anxiety manifests mentally and physically and can include symptoms such as restlessness, difficulties relaxing, sweating, rapid heart beating, sleepless nights, loss of appetite, confusion, or difficulties concentrating. Everyone faces anxiety at some point in life.
Research distinguishes between “state anxiety” defined as a temporary reaction to adverse events, and “trait anxiety”, a more stable personality feature that means a person with trait anxiety is more likely to react with a level of worry to everyday situations.
Feelings of anxiety differ from the actual anxiety disorders (such as Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or eating disorders) that are chronic and require a diagnosis by a clinician. Feelings of anxiety can lead to a more serious mental health disorder, or they can be more situation-specific. A study by Ru Jia and colleagues found that 2020 levels of anxiety, depression, and stress in adults were much higher than normal levels. Increased anxiety was more likely if you were younger and female and part of a recognized risk group. Increased stress was linked with being younger, female, living alone, and being from a BAME background and within a high-risk group (Jia et al, 2020). Another recent study, published in The Lancet, found that whilst there was an initial rise in feelings of anxiety and depression, over the course of the first 20 weeks of lockdown in the UK, levels of anxiety and depression reduced over time. The lowering anxiety and depression correlated to the easing of lockdown restrictions. The reasons why anxiety and depression levels reduced are not well understood but the authors suggested that it may be due to substantial prior warning about the lockdown and some degree of freedom of movement (Fancourt et al., 2020). In other pandemics where people are in total isolation or other settings of isolation such as incarceration, there have been worse psychological consequences (Fancourt et al., 2020).
2. The feeling of grief
Grief, the natural response to loss, was an integral part of the 2020 emotional landscape. Not only were there more deaths to grieve, being able to grieve the dead and say goodbye became more difficult as Covid-19 restrictions made holding funerals in person and visiting the terminally ill very difficult.
In early 2020, when the world was waking up to the pandemic, reports and images from Italy illustrated how horrifying processing an exponential number of covid-19 deaths could be for a nation. Terribly, it appeared that the number dying outpaced local systems to collect and bury them. In the small town of Bergamo, Italy, a local newspaper called L’Eco di Bergamo was full of the news of death. On the 9th February listings of deaths occupied a single page in the newspaper, by the 13th of March, 10 pages were needed to commemorate the local dead in a local newspaper.
In the USA, the death toll currently stands at 333K as of the time of writing the 28th of December, Brazil has seen 191K deaths, India 148K deaths, and the UK stands at 70,000 deaths due to Covid-19. The world is still coming to terms with the major loss of human life and the devastating impact this has on the mental and physical health of those that are left behind. The grieving for the departed will continue.
The growing grief brought attention that institutions, such as work and school, are not well set up to support bereaved individuals. Discussion of death and grief can be a taboo. In the West, particularly for the non-religious, there can be a lack of rituals and suitable language around grief. Knowing how to support others with grief is not easy at the best of times, but harder through virtual platforms and Covid-19 restrictions. For many of us that have yet to lose a loved one to Covid-19, we might not understand how hard it is for those that are bereaved from Covid-19 or lost loved ones during the pandemic. Bereavement support will be needed for both bereaved adults as well as bereaved children in the years that follow.
Further, in 2020, communities of colour grieved. Particularly within the USA and the UK, research found that people of colour and minority ethnic groups were disproportionately affected by Covid-19 and these communities are still adapting to the unjust face of the pandemic (Price Haywood et al., 2020; Public Health England, 2020).
3. The feeling of empathy
Empathy, the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences via the imagination, kept the wheels of 2020 turning, in my view. Empathy was apparent in many ways. Empathy was shown with elderly people and others that were more vulnerable to Covid-19. Across the UK, support groups such as Mutual Aid sprung up to support elderly people and those at higher risk of Covid-19 to fetch shopping and supplies. There was also an outpouring of empathy for doctors, nurses and hospital staff on the frontlines of care and undergoing immense exposure to the virus as well as working long shifts wearing painful PPE.
Clap for carer’s became a public expression of support for carers in the UK. Increased empathy and allyship for people of colour that were victim to racism and discrimination surged worldwide. People took to the streets to show that Black Lives Matter and express empathy for the murder of George Floyd. Empathy was visible in the UK when footballer Marcus Rashford encouraged the UK government to provide Free School Meals. The campaign brought attention to the issue of child poverty in the UK. Whilst the crisis of the pandemic was unfolding, this campaign brought much needed visibility to the 4.2 million children living in poverty in the UK (according to 2018–19 figures), that amounts to 9 children in a classroom of 30.
4. The feeling of loneliness
Today, feelings of loneliness are relevant to the current moment, not just the past year. Loneliness might be acutely felt for those that are living alone or not seeing relatives for their own safety or have just spent their first Christmas in solitude. The pandemic placed walls between people (albeit for their own safety). Statistics from the ONS found that adults living alone were more likely to report higher or more frequent levels of loneliness and over the past seven days than the average adult; this was also found for adults with poor health, in rented accommodation, or who were either single, or divorced, separated or a former or separated civil partner.
Loneliness may have been particularly acute for those that did not use social media or technology to stay connected, such as elderly people or people that have barriers to accessing smartphones or tech. Loneliness is a particularly difficult emotion as it can be less apparent from strong emotions of sadness or anger, but can have negative effects on physical and mental health, such as links to depression and alcoholism.
5. The feeling of anger
Anger is another key feature of the emotional topography of 2020. Newspapers and Twitter have captured swathes of anger across the year. Topics that were reported as source of anger and rage included herd immunity, having to wear masks, frustration towards those that refused to wear masks, schools reopening in the UK and USA, social distancing rules, those that defied social distancing, beach goers, Covid-19 restrictions being adopted last minute, Barnard Castle, notable scientists and politicians not following the rules during lockdown and many other topics. Politicians expressed their anger too, or were derided for not expressing anger or consequences for those that broke the rules. During lockdown, domestic violence cases rose globally. The UN described this as The Shadow Pandemic, with cases rising 20% worldwide.
Some psychologists have suggested that the range of clinical conditions are not well suited to describe the surges of anger that rose up during 2020.
5. The feeling of relief
Relief, the feelings of happiness following a difficult event being over, is yet to be realised in many countries. The prospect of relief perhaps offers light at the end of the Covid-19 tunnel. For many countries, the rate of Covid-19 went down during the summer, and there was an easing of restrictions. For many, the opportunity to see friends, family or colleagues after a long time was accompanied by relief. Arguably, furlough packages and government support offered relief in relation to the financial future of many.
In certain countries, where the transmission of the virus is more tightly controlled and the number of cases has diminished, people now describe not worrying or thinking about Covid-19 and associated risks. In Taiwan, New Zealand and parts of China, life has returned to normal. For example,
“It’s really not in my mind at all,” Truong said. “I don’t feel anxious about catching the virus. I don’t feel scared about not wearing a mask to public places. For lack of a better word, it’s really normal.”
A mother of two in Australia explained in the same newspaper article:
“In my day-to-day life, yes, I do forget. The worry has gone away in a lot of ways,”
6. The feeling of suspense
Many people across the world were in total suspense in the lead up to the US elections. This suspense seemed to continue for over a week until all the votes were cast and officially counted. Both American citizens and global citizens waited in breathless anticipation.
The world appeared to look upon the USA and that the new government would be accompanied by some drastic changes: a proactive approach towards stopping transmission of the Covid-10 virus, and supporting leadership of politicians such as the first female person of colour Vice President, Deb Haaland nominated for Secretary of the Interior, AOC, and proactive action on climate change. For many worldwide, the change in administration was a welcome change in a year that had seen Trumps’ removal of political and economic support for the World Health Organisation (WHO) during the pandemic and disdain of and exit from international climate treaties aimed to prevent dangerous climate change. For many around the world the Democratic win was a major positive change after weeks if not months of build up.
7. The feeling of confusion
The SARS-CoV-2 virus was a new phenomenon, as was a global pandemic. Adapting to the pandemic took both research and action without a complete picture of the virus and its’ effects. Governments, policy makers, scientists, & hospitals had to scramble to adapt with both the science and the policy to adapt to the pandemic, control the virus and provide care for those that were affected by COVID or had other medical needs. In the UK context, there was confusion regarding the Covid-19 rules that slowly became clearer over time. This confusion was amplified and parodied by comedians and by tweeters. Initially, there was confusion regarding the extent that masks were protective and who needed to wear masks.
There was also confusion at the outset of the year regarding the symptoms of the virus that are still emerging. In March, Professor Kumar identified that loss of smell (anosmia) was a COVID-19 symptom. Now, Professor Kumar has suggested that the smell of burning or a bad odor (parosmia) has now been reported by long term sufferers of Covid-19. Later in 2020, it was recognised that Long Covid (aka Post Acute Covid-19) was experienced by a number of patients that had symptoms beyond 3 weeks and could last for months. The mental health symptoms of Covid-19, such as anxiety, are still not crystal clear but increasingly documented and research will hopefully identify how Covid-19 affects the brain the nervous system and the full range of ways that mental health can be affected.
Finally, an additional point of confusion was dilemmas Covid-19 brought. Sometimes, there were tradeoffs between social fun and reducing the risk of spreading Covid-19. People made tradeoffs all the time and sometimes positive feelings of seeing family or celebrating needed to be let go of in order to follow the rules. Sometimes it seemed like a choice between the fun thing (seeing family or friends in person) versus doing ‘the right thing’ (social distancing and following the rules, not visiting family and conducting parties online). The tradeoffs of 2020 were confusing, particularly when the rules were liberally interpreted at times. At times, there could be a negotiation between advancing mental health versus protecting physical health. There may be many more of these tradeoffs before this pandemic is through.
8. The feeling of courage
Immense courage was shown by health care workers and key workers in increasing their risk of exposure to the virus and risking their own personal safety to help others and simply do their job. Equally, it took courage for businesses to change their business to adapt to Covid-19, it took courage for scientists to convert science into policy. Teachers and schools were courageous in reopening schools.
Following the murder of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, people expressed their grief and their outrage at police brutality, racism, and systemic racism. Bravery and courage enabled protesters to take to the streets during a global pandemic. Following protests in America, Black Lives Matter went on to spark protests in solidarity worldwide. Two young Black activists Aima, age 18, and Tash, age 21, organised a march in Trafalgar Square, London which drew in protestors nationwide on May 31st. At one London protest, Star Wars actor John Boyega joined 15,000 others in Hyde Park. It also took courage for US and UK police to speak out against the death of George Floyd. Nurses stood in the street in attempts to educate and stop anti-lockdown protestors. It took courage for businesses to try out new strategies to adapt to Covid-19.
9. The feeling of boredom
For huge numbers of people in the UK and worldwide, jobs were furloughed leading to being at home, paid, but without work to undertake. Some people took up creative and fitness endeavors or home renovations. On social media, a number of “bored in the house” memes followed as well as videos depicting the challenges of a full week with nothing to do or the challenges of having no tasks whilst their partners or housemates worked over Zoom. TikTok became a major platform where people expressed their experiences through videos and songs. TikTok has 800m users in 2020 and is the most downloaded app on the Apple app store. Netflix gained nearly 16 million subscribers during the first quarter of 2020. Research suggests boredom is not good for wellbeing. Even short periods of boredom can reduce one’s feeling of meaningfulness and lower motivation (Vogel‐Walcutt et al., 2012). Paradoxically, creating a song about the experience of boredom could be good for your wellbeing!
10. The feeling of adoration
Despite many difficult emotions, there was a lot of love in 2020. Love still bloomed. People expressed love in new ways. In families, some parents spent more time with their children than ever before. Life continued; babies were born. Love was expressed for key workers and health care workers. Whilst many were alone, others that were part of families and couples or at least cohesive teams or extended families. A desire for connection continued. Connection was facilitated via FaceTime, Zoom, Teams and WhatsApp. Many couples got engaged or indeed married despite the constraints of the pandemic. Some went the distance to make sure that elderly or at risk relatives could join from the safety of their home or care home. In a few cases, new couples spent lockdown together and spent more time continuously in close quarters than ever before. The experience of lockdown tested relationships in new ways.
During the lockdown in the UK, people spoke of ex-romantic partners reaching out of the blue to find out how they were. The unexpected call or WhatsApp message after many years of no contact. My opinion is that early in the pandemic, many of us had to consider our mortality (this is evident but the increased numbers of wills being drawn up and the threat of death as more present than before the pandemic). When considering our existence, many of us reached out to those that have had meaning in our lives or those that could provide solace in trying times.
Final take-away
The huge global cost of corona will continue and the effects on mental health and the next generation will become clearer over time. The risks to both physical and mental health are very real. The mental health implications of corona for children, adults and the elderly, may be one of the biggest challenges of our time. As a point of reflection, whilst the experiences and outcomes of 2020 are widely diverse, owing to the nature of the pandemic (barring a few islands), Covid-19 is something we all experienced to some extent. We went through it together, despite frequent solitude for many of us. At the same time, the stark inequities in who has been hit hardest by Covid-19 is a wake up call to address the huge disparities in privilege, protections, and opportunity within contemporary society.
