The Present
We often fall into a pattern of overthinking the present, thinking about our past or even dwelling into the future. Our minds can so easily drift from either of the illusions without reason or control. Its as though our mind is a separate entity while the inner self is in constant need to gain complete freedom to live a little in this present moment.
What is the present moment?
I heard about this from a proclaimed Guru over a discourse which made absolute sense to me. ‘The present’ is not this second, not even this millisecond, its the tiniest moment of time which in fact cannot be measured as its always on the run moment to moment, while we humans diverge into the cycles of the mind back and forth.
What are the cycles of the mind?
Its that cyclic moment when you are in a discussion or a meeting and instead of giving your undivided attention to the here and now with your collaborative efforts, you instead check your phone for notifications, Instagram for likes or what’s hot or trending! in your news feed.
Its that cyclic moment when you are sitting for a meal with your family, a notification pops up and you compulsively check your phone on what or who fancied you (this ‘who’ I refer to is also one other being walking the same cyclic path as you) instead of listening to your loved ones on their daily realities by using this precious second of life to know them a little deeper.
Its that cyclic moment when you settle down in a cab and swiftly get to your phone because you do not know what else to do with all that empty space in your head. How about have a conversation with your cabbie for a change? Ask them how their day went? For all you know, you might have a great cab experience that would bring a smile to two and if you don't prefer to be social, why not just stay silent? why not just breathe into the silence and settle into the void and relish the view outside?
Its that cyclic moment when you and your significant other both come home from work and end up dispersing time on your phones or burry yourself in a book or go online while at bed, instead of looking at each other in the eye and asking a simple ‘how was your day?’. There will always be something new to venture with your partner; You always have a choice if you want to make it exciting with your lover by truly experiencing one another in every dimension that life has to offer or giving up on it altogether and suffer the consequences of inertia. I call it the purest form of love when your partner wants to explore every facet of your emotions & quirks with patience and perseverance — its boundless nature is what attracts most of us to those fairytale endings (there is a reason why they say ‘through sickness and ill-heath, until death do us part’).
Its that cyclic moment when our older generation are in their final days but we got ‘no time’ for them cause we have a Netflix show to binge, a party to attend or an unavoidable office meeting that dispenses time. The older our parents/grandparents get, the more they crave for attention and warmth -all they seek is some company and assurance in their final days of life. They will become child-like wanting to do many things but their frail bodies cannot oblige. The least we can do is support their need for love just by spending those few moments, exchanging words of compassion and a hug for emotional stimulation. Exchange your shoes with them and see how you would like to be treated if you were them?!
Its that cyclic moment when you wake up and the first thing you do is touch your phone instead of taking those few moments to yourself to unwind and perceive how you would like to spend your day and the kind of attitude you would like to inculcate as part of your daily activities. Just those few moments to yourself can bring about a fresh start and brighten your day, but no! we instead would like instant gratification by letting the outer world enter your precious space through notifications.
Its that cyclic moment when you cannot fathom being alone in your washroom without a device in your hand to scroll up, down and double tap. Why not just stare at the intricacies of the washroom design? Why not just settle into those moments of silence with yourself and let your mind free? Why are you scared of your very own mind?
Its that cyclic moment when you are on a date with that special someone and instead of being your authentic self with no fears, inhibitions or what ifs, you spiral into ‘what will they think of me if I do this?’. To this I ask, ‘Why fear? What’s the worst that can happen?’ In fact, the best thing that can happen is you loose the date altogether (the faster the better!) since they did not see the beauty of your authentic nature.
Its that cyclic moment when we ourselves are the older generation and our off-springs have lent their minds to the unconscious devil by immersing themselves into the norm. The devil is already on the loose as Generation z tread the path with the unconscious monster in viscous cycles of not realizing the temporary nature of this fragile life. By then it will become far too late to realize in our wise years on the deep longing for connection, freedom from the internet ever changing language to outsmart us and most significantly — the independence from the compulsive patterns of unconscious living.
When we sit by ourselves (regardless of the situation), why is it so hard to sit with our thoughts? Why is it so hard to stay in silence? Why not take delight of the sheer view of nature, our breath and the momentary reality? letting your awareness evolve- to sink in the feeling that you are alive in this boon of life with mother nature cradling us with all that she can offer despite us treating her like utter trash..
Why is it so hard to stay in the present?
When we were in our youth, weren’t we carefree with joy and ecstasy without the need of external forces? And when we did live in the NOW, weren’t they one of the greatest experiences and memories cherished? It certainly is for most of us, isn't it ?!
We have perpetually trained our minds over the years to move back and forth to an extent that it is habitual. I’d go so far as to call it an addiction!
When you train your body and mind with behavioral patterns of a certain degree, it eventually becomes standard protocol. Post this phase, if you want to change or outgrow with maturity from this pattern, it takes enormous effort to break away, utmost patience and willingness (you may feel emotions ranging from low to high in an instant during the change process, this may vary in time periods from short to long based on the individual). And finally, after driving yourself through the process of growth, you will arrive at adopting a new path with a sense of ease — this in turn will be a new habit but a conscious one!
Can we ever truly be present as a way of living?
I did a 1 week experiment with my mind. Well a week is too short! Probably, I will create a separate post with results of the longer experiment after a year into it. You might be wondering what this experiment is by now!
I call this ‘the awareness week’. The following is a glimpse of half a day’s effort-
- Right after I wake up, I meditate for 10 minutes. I uncross my legs, keep my palms open sitting in a comfortable position with spine erect and a back rest. I close my eyes and thoughts come by rushing (this occurs quite frequently!), I let the thoughts come and go without judgement and without following their trails. I find this technique extremely hard even till date but I keep at it as it helps me ignore the noise.
2. I remind myself that I am alive and so is my family. I smile at the thought of it and it reflexively makes my mood a tad bit lighter.
3. I practice physical mindfulness by feeling every step that I take after I wake up -
- I feel the floor underneath my sole;
- Feel the bottle in my palm as I take it across to quench my thirst;
- Feel the water enter my throat as it satisfies my need for hydration;
- Brush mindfully stroking every corner of my calcified structure;
- Wash my face with gentle circular motions and place the towel back in its position slowly feeling every motion of my senses;
- Shower slow and cleanse myself as a mother would to her newborn child leaving me with self-compassion, inner warmth and freshness;
- Offer gratitude for the food that is yet to be absorbed as a part of me and digest every mouthful with patience feeling my taste buds salivate with the dish’s variations in depth — spice, pungent, bitter, salt and sweetness- feeling every sensation!
- While conversing with a friend, being watchful of their need to be heard. Understanding their quirks and fancies. Indulging in a dialogue as long as they want me to speak, until then remain in silence so they could share while I observe.
4. I power off my phone the previous night and leave it in an idle state until the following morning till I have the need to check.
The above does not go through every inch of how a day in my life is spent. But shares a brief perspective of the awareness week experiment, so you get the general idea of this exercise.
Doing this occasionally has lifted my spirits, helped me realize responsibilities, value my relationships and encouraged growth.
But can we truly live in the present every moment in everyday life? I don’t think so. In fact its super human to be in an utter state of the NOW.
Can we achieve the ‘present’ state of mind to our maximum potential? Hell Yes!! Only if you want to give it your best shot!!
Instead of me going through an elaborate list of the after perks of this experiment, why don’t you try this out with yourself for a day and share your experience with me? :)
P.S. I am not a professional in this field. I am merely an observer of all traits and would like to share an essence of my journey out their in the internet wilderness.
If you have come this far into the story and felt connected or found this insightful, hit me a clap or post a comment.
Cheers and happy reading!
