They will try to ruin your day. Don’t let them succeed.
We are surrounded by energy vampires
All-day long, we encounter so many people who are unhappy with themselves. Those who are dissatisfied with life around them. They have complaints about every little thing in this world. They are the ones who will misbehave. They will abuse and criticize us. They will try to belittle us and ruin our day. They aim to drag us into their world of unhappiness and sadness. Our aim should be not to get dragged and stay rooted in our own world of bliss.
How should we handle our haters? trollers? Energy suckers? Well, first of all, we need to understand that they are suffering. Their misbehavior in the outer world is nothing but their inner suffering getting spilled over. You can offer only those things to this world that are within you. If you are full of misery, you will offer misery and pain to others. If you are full of contentment and joy, you will offer joy to others. So, their misbehavior is just a manifestation of their inner suffering. It’s a symptom of their uneasiness. Show them compassion.
Those unhappy souls will cut you in the traffic, will blow horns constantly, overtake you with a winning look, post negative or hate comments on your Facebook of Insta post, etc. This only means they are miserable. There are no good or bad people, there are only joyful or miserable people.
Joyful people help others, miserable ones bother others. The question is how do we respond to them?
There can be only one response to such people. Compassion. Any other response except compassion would mean that we chose to get dragged into the swamp. Because no other response would be sufficient for them. Nothing can change them. Those are the people who are at war with their own selves. They want us to join and we should refrain from doing that. How can they establish peace with the outer world, if they are struggling within?
We should not take them personally. Their behavior is not about us, it is about them. They are revealing their ugly side. Their negative behavior is nothing but their silent cries for help.
Marcus Aurelius said
“When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil.”
Forgive them in advance. It is not about time, it is all about energy. We have plenty of time. What we are lacking is energy.
These unhappy and dissatisfied souls act as energy vampires. They suck our energy and If we argue with them, we will feel tired and exhausted. The biggest task in today’s world is to protect our own energy and use it for our creativity and well-being.
They want to disturb us because they are already disturbed. They have tried to be like us but as they have failed, they would force us to be like them. Haters would drag us down to their level of understanding and unawareness and will beat us by their ‘Masochistic’ talent. We should be very careful.
The best response is ‘no response.’ These hate spreaders thrive on our response. They grow on our attention. If we react to them, we feed them. As soon as we choose not to react, they feel uncomfortable. Like bacterias, they go into a dormant state and become inactive.
But if we respond to them, then we feed them. By any kind of response, explanation, or justification, we are giving them the energy to blossom.
The peculiarity of toxic people is that they can’t survive without attention. They die of ‘no response’. There is no bigger disappointment for them than our silence or ignorance.
But here is a trap. If we take them personally and decide to counter-attack, then we are initiating a fight with the pig. and as George Bernard Show said,
“Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.”
We need to remind ourselves constantly that It is absolutely not necessary to react to everything and everyone. We need to come out of that ‘Autopilot mode’. We need to pause and reflect.
Non-reaction is the best reaction. No response is the best response.
If the sea is dirty, we don’t let the tide drench our feet. We step back. The same principle applies here.
Few points that I have realized:
- If something is bothering us, we can just observe it. There is absolutely no need or compulsion to react to it. Non-judgemental observation is enough to let it pass.
- “The best revenge is not to be like your enemy.” — Marcus Aurelius. We don’t have to hurt those, who hurt us. We need to break this cycle and get out of this dirty game.
- Take a deep breath and just walk away. Maturity and awareness lie in that.
- As soon as we respond to a negative thing, we permit our energy to get drained and wasted for nothing. Remember, we all have a very limited amount of energy.
- I may be disliked by many. and that's okay. Not everyone is here to like me. Neither I am here to be liked by everyone.
- Trying to please everyone is the biggest wastage of time and energy. If you will try to please all, you will end up pleasing none.
- If we choose not to react, we can get away and above the situation. If we respond, we get tied to the situation.
- What do you want to choose? Peace of mind or drama? That choice always remains with us.
- Haters are portraying their character while misbehaving. We should not interfere and let them do their work. Let the world see their full picture.
- hate can’t be defeated by hate. Nothing can change their behavior. So better not to try.
- Always remember, They are the ones who are suffering and we are not.
Nobody is that significant or worthy enough to be able to ruin our day. Whenever someone tries to poke, irritate or get the hell out of us, take a deep breath, pause, and say to yourself ‘It’s a trap. Don’t go there. Stay away.’
-Dr. Nimitt
