Three Things I’ve Learned From 20 Years of Managing Chronic Pain
1. Used as prescribed, pain medication is a life saver but is not sustainable long term
2. It is possible to learn how to live with chronic, even severe pain but it takes work
3. Following a few simple rules will get you started, but the rest is up to you*
I am the prince of pain, but not the servant of suffering. That’s not to say I don’t suffer, I do, but I’ve learned to manage my pain and suffering after 20 years of personal experience.
My pain is driven by a combination of chronic conditions, several related to cancer treatments that saved my life, but left me with substantial residual issues including chronic pain. Dealing with neuropathy, cystitis and a rare condition called Anterior Cutaneous Nerve Entrapment Syndrome (ACNES), makes daily pain management a must for me.
So now that you know, let me share what I’ve learned from living with pain for two decades. But first, let me acknowledge and celebrate the fact that I did survive and am alive to see my grandkids grow up and well enough to continue to work.
The first lesson I learned, and it took me over a decade to figure this out, is that though strong, opiate like medications definitely have a role to play with chronic pain, they are not a tenable long-term solution. By that I mean taking an opiate or similar strong painkiller on a daily basis, even if extremely disciplined like I was, won’t work forever. It just doesn’t, and will take a predictable toll on both your liver and your personality/mood. Not to mention the constipation. Then there’s the specter of addiction hanging perpetually over one’s head like a Sword of Damocles.
Let me be clear, I continue to employ painkillers when indicated and appropriate, like during episodes of extreme pain. Did I mention I also pass kidney stones on a regular basis? No? Well yes, that kind of pain or the ACNES pain warrant the big guns and I don’t hesitate to intervene. I’ve learned that coping with extreme pain, without medication, takes an ever bigger toll on my body and mind. What I’ve discontinued is daily use of strong painkillers. I did that for over a decade, and it was not something I felt like I could continue. Though I’m not a drinker, a virus infection left my liver damaged and I try to limit meds that are hard on my hepatic system. Further, the effect of regular painkillers on my mood was noticeable to me and to my significant other. Then there’s the never ending pressure from the medical community and governmental agencies to limit the use of painkillers to certain specific situations. So all of a sudden a number of years ago, my prescription for pain meds was reduced to seven tablets at a time. I got the message.
I was twitchy about stopping; the meds were a crutch at that point, propping up my sense of security. But I soon discovered that a new POV and a little legal medical Marijuana (okay sometimes a lot) could see me through the transition. Being aware of what I was doing, my goals, the backstory and the current environment around pain medication did help me cultivate a new and more adaptive mind set.
I set about to consciously; mindfully put my pain in a place where I could better deal with it — without prescription meds. In the process, I learned to live with my pain. To allow it in when I could not prevent it, like laying in bed in the quiet of the morning, but to not be overwhelmed or depressed by the pain and to put it aside in a distant place in my consciousness when working and conducting the activities of daily living. I discovered it IS possible to accomplish a workable level of personal pain management, and that was an encouraging and uplifting experience/revelation. I built on that revelation, moving forward with more confidence I could do it on my own.
A few words about relaxation: Pain creates body wide stress as muscles tense up instinctively around the nexus of pain. That creates a cycle of escalation. Muscle tension increases the pain, which in turn increases muscle tension. It is critical to learn to relax individual muscle groups to avoid and/or interrupt this escalatory cycle. Controlled breathing and mindful tension relieving efforts, literally telling oneself to relax, are necessary tools when pain hits.
*Beyond that, here are the simple rules I’ve employed to help me manage my experience with chronic pain.
Consciously support my body and mental health in every manner possible, including:
· get adequate sleep (hard with a problem bladder)
· stay hydrated and practice good nutrition
· do not get constipated — ever
· avoid major stressors and reduce existential anxiety
· keep my work schedule realistic
· make time for rest, relaxation and entertainment
· use legal medical marijuana to maintain appetite, reduce stress and for sleep
Cultivate a more positive and productive attitude around my pain:
· compartmentalize the pain through visualization and intent
· actively emphasize and choose to dwell on positives, not negatives
· balance the pain negatives against the positives of existence & experience
· mentally prioritize productivity over pain: work, hobbies, etc come 1st
· prevent any descent into a suffering or victimhood state of mind
· de-escalate panic or anxiety attacks with logic and positive mantras
· allow myself to, in a controlled & sensible fashion, piss & moan if needed
· develop a believable list of “yes, buts” for example, I have pain, but:
1. I’m alive and breathing
2. I’ve got a great wife and family
3. I’ve got the greatest grandkids ever
4. I eat well and enjoy my food immensely
5. I’m not too sick to travel
6. I’m working and making a contribution
7. I lead a meaningful and rewarding life
8. And if things get sketchy, there’s always weed
Don’t talk about pain except in specific “ventilation” sessions with trusted friends, family, therapists or medical professionals. Just steer clear.
Talking about pain, except in therapeutic ventilation sessions, gives it life and space in one’s consciousness… it can become obsessive and controlling.
Do not allow myself to be defined by my pain, consciously define myself in other ways — do not even let the pain be a significant consideration in that regard.
I am not my pain, no… I am much more than that. I am a survivor; strong, resilient, alive, loving, full of spirit and enthusiasm. Just ask me what I’m working on or reading.
Do not allow my pain to interfere with the relationship I have and maintain with my partner.
My partner is a key to my quality of life, and she is also my caregiver during episodes of severe pain. It is important to keep her in the loop and feeling appreciated, without overwhelming or burdening her unnecessarily. It takes thought and consideration to keep our relationship on an even keel. She often asks how I’m feeling, just to track my status. I give her a positive response, even if I have minor or moderate pain, because I don’t want to burden her unnecessarily. It’s important to spare your partner, saving the serious bitching for really extreme circumstances.
You get the picture. In combination, these techniques, as simple and corny as they may sound, really did work for me. And they may work for you too.
#Life #Health
