Uncover Me
At times the world feels so big that we can’t help but feel like everything in it could possibly swallow us whole. But that’s not true, refuse to believe it. The truth is we have so much to offer. The energy that resides in you is more than enough to cast a shadow on the entire globe and the people who came into the earth and left their mark understood that. It’s why we remember their names, what they fought for or discovered. Many of us are lost, don’t know who we are and how to find who we want to be. That person you’re looking for is right there with you, they’ve never left you. They were there when you took your first breathe and they’ll be there when you take your last…but who are they?
First steps
When I was younger, I never really thought about who I wanted to be when I grow up. I mean sure I had the average dreams of every girl but the opportunities that could possibly lead to greatness my mother tried to push me towards are what I always ran away from. So, I guess I could say I was a coward but that’s okay. Part of finding out who you are is uncovering things about yourself that you may not like or are ashamed of and accepting them then changing if you can. It takes a great deal of strength to re-invent yourself but that’s good, that kind of strength will make you grow as a person and push you closer towards who you want to be assuming you’ve discovered who you are.
After my mum died the blindfold that covered my eyes fell off and suddenly, I grew up. I still didn’t know who I was or who I wanted to be, but I knew I had to find her. So, I looked for my interests…that wasn’t easy. Things don’t just fall into place, finding yourself is like playing a game of hide and seek or a treasure hunt where you are the prize. I recommend looking into your past and the things you’ve always participated in. Filter out what you’ve enjoyed and what you didn’t and if you’ve never taken part in anything then start! It doesn’t matter if you’re good at it or not what matters is that you find out whether you enjoy it or not and build up from there.
When I found out I enjoyed writing I couldn’t stop. Every morning between 3am until at least 5:30am I was seated at the dining table, no one was awake, so it was my personal time and It didn’t matter what I wrote, if it made sense or not or even if it was good. All that mattered was that I was writing, and I was happy doing it and with time I developed. I used to use those few hours of the morning to reflect on what was going on so far; everything I wouldn’t say out loud I wrote it down and as I did it I felt like all the words travelled from within me to the paper and by the time I was done I felt lighter than before. It was my own journal of the things I experienced at the time as I jotted down my thoughts and observations, I began to understand people better and that inspired an interest in exactly how the mind and brain work. Now, I’m a workaholic with a love for writing stories, poetry and an obsession with how we formulate thoughts. I work well with others and often easily relate to them. So, when people ask who is Blue Carrisole? I can confidently tell them enough to fill all the books I hope to write someday.
Staying on track
The journey ahead isn’t easy, but it’s not meant to be. Once you get on track staying on track proves to be an even bigger and more daunting challenge than taking the first step but that’s okay. Anything worth fighting for is never easy to fight for or keep fighting for. Always remember why you began, be your own biggest supporter. Personally, I tend to laugh in the face of adversity. If I have doubts, I laugh as I make fun of them, when I feel completely stupid, I laugh as I make fun of myself. It doesn’t make everything just disappear but if I could take the situation slightly less seriously then I’ve made it slightly easier to overcome and that’s better than nothing.
However, this isn’t for everyone. You could always try to start your day on a positive note by listening to motivational speeches or working out your frustrations. Sometimes writing a journal or diary entry of everything that happened in a day allows you to vent out whatever pent up negativity is inside you which allows you to start the next day clear minded like a fresh, crisp page waiting to hold a story on its surface.
As you get there
As you push on forward, you’ll encounter even more challenges, kind of like if you were playing a game and you move on to harder levels. Please expect that the obstacles grow as you do. What is to take away from this is that you’re developing and that’s great! it’s like planting a seed and watching it grow into a full-grown tree. It’s a beautiful site and that should be your end goal, to look at yourself one day with such satisfaction and adoration that before anyone else says you’re amazing you already know it.
The world is full of beauty and beasts… that’s just how it maintains balance. It may seem like you come across a lot of ugly things or people but don’t let that turn you in to something hideous especially since that’s not who you were meant to be. Look for you and you’ll find him or her and when you do don’t let go. Your space in the world is as big as you make it.
