When Anxiety Takes Hold

For me it all starts in the morning, from the minute I open my eyes I can feel my chest tighten, and my mind starts to race. The day has begun and I am now in it, up against the wall fighting my anxiety.

Medication happens right away and then back into bed as I wait for it to take effect. It is not the most ideal way to live but for the current moment, this is how I am living.

I assume for a lot of people this is also their daily routine, the fight starts immediately upon waking up and can last anywhere from an hour to the entire day. It is exhausting.

The hold that anxiety has is like nothing I have dealt with before, the feeling of not being able to control your thoughts, the way your body feels and how you react to it all only piles on to the feelings that you are experiencing.

I must admit my reaction to my anxiety is less than what one should probably be doing. I do let it drive my day as I am so tired of trying to fight off the feeling but in current readings, I am learning how to turn my anxiety into my superpower. Though at the current moment, my outlook on doing this is low.

Every day is different, there are good days and there are bad days and then there are really bad days. However, there is one constant, that feeling of anxiety. It is always there, even on the good days, you can feel it beneath the surface like a pimple that is waiting to rear its ugly head.

I don’t have answers, all I have is this, writing about how I feel in the hope that I will be able to find something that will help me in the long run.

I am in the grips of a long bout of anxiety and depression at the moment and will be using this platform to chronicle how it is going and the steps that I am taking to try to combat, cope and use what I am dealing with.

That’s all I have for now, please let me know if any of you are dealing with the same kind of struggle, would be great to see some others who can relate.