You’re not a Failure: A Guide to College and Post-Grad Life (Pt. 1)

It was the Fall of 2015 and my first semester of college. The feeling of walking into my first lecture, General Chemistry I, after a weekend filled with moving, meeting new people, goodbyes, and tears was bittersweet but resoundingly exciting. I was ready to start a new chapter of my life, not knowing that the next four years would be the most difficult, stressful, and nerve-wracking time of my life — but also, the most enjoyable and influential times of my life.

I am beginning this series to write about my experiences in college and post-grad life— the good, the bad, and the ugly — and how they influenced and molded me into the person I am today. For me, college was a time to experiment and try new things — to really discover who I was as a person. It was a time for me to find my passion — whether that passion be something, or someone. By writing this, I hope to help young people as they navigate through their own experiences. My wish is to connect people who’ve had similar experiences and for people to realize that they are not alone in their struggles or difficulties. College — and life — can be exceptionally difficult to all of us in their own unique ways… but also, I write this as a means for me to document my life and my experiences. Maybe you too will find interest or some kind of connection to my experiences, regardless if you are currently enrolled in college or university.

Growing up, I always wanted to be an engineer. I would play with Legos and Megabloks for hours on end as a kid. I always loved using my hands and imagination to build things - from the sandcastles on playgrounds as a child, to the toothpick and popsicle stick bridges as a preteen, to the water-quenching apparatus for heat-treated steel for my senior capstone project. Building and designing things was just something I was absolutely in love with. I loved learning how things worked and how things worked together. However, when it came to the actual computational sides of these things, I wasn’t necessarily the best. I was by no means a failure at math and physics, but I definitely wasn’t even close to being one of the better students. This never stopped my ambition to be an engineer, though.

During my first semester of college, I was taking prerequisite classes that all engineering majors had to take (classes like calculus, statics, dynamics, yadda yadda… ). One of the first things I realized that first semester was that college was nothing like high school. The workload was huge compared to high school and when you’ve got that in combination with the freedoms you get in college…you’re asking for a recipe for disaster. The workload and this newly found freedom almost led my first semester of college to being my only semester of college. My grades in that first semester were not indicative of the successful high school student I was. It hit me in the face like a wall of bricks: high school is not college.

I was on the verge of being put on probation and potentially losing all my academic merit scholarships after just one semester. To top it off, I distinctly remember one conversation on a cool October morning. Earlier in that week, I had taken an exam in my calc 1 class. It was the third of four exams plus a final that semester. The first two exams I didn’t do nearly as well as I hoped. I netted a C+ and a D on those exams, respectively. Afraid of potentially losing all my scholarships (I was also struggling in my chemistry class, but that’s a tale for another time), I started studying for the third exam as soon as I got the results from the second. I was sure I would make an A on the next exam.

That morning, we received our third exams back. It was a D. There was a note written on the top of the exam from my professor: “Please come see me to talk about your grade in this class.” Chills raced up and down my body. How could I let this happen again? I studied my ass off for days, what was I doing wrong? What was I not understanding? I sat through the rest of the lecture that day not really listening — all I could think of was the conversation I was bound to have with my professor.

I walked up to her after class and said that I’d like to discuss my grade. She motioned for me to follow her and join her in her office. I sat down across from her at her desk. The exact details of the conversation is a bit of a blur to me now. I remember her mentioning different resources for me to pull my grades up and to visit her at her office if I needed more help. But one thing that she said that still sticks to me today is this.

Prof: “Tell me - what are you majoring in?”

Me: “Mechanical engineering.”

Prof: “Is that so? Well, to be blunt with you, there is no way that you can be a successful working engineer given your skills with Calc 1. If I were you, I would consider switching majors.”

I don’t remember exactly what I said in reply. All I remember is the sting her words gave to me. She completely shat on my life dream. Knowing what I know now though, she was right. However, at the time, 18-year old me couldn’t live with that fact and I didn’t want to be a failure. I wanted to prove her wrong — that I could do this (Calculus) and that I would be an engineer but most of all, I wanted to prove it to myself. No amount of whining or complaining could fix any of this. The only thing that would work was, well — hard work. I couldn’t go on doing the same things I was doing in high school to “study” in college. No, I had to actually study and teach myself how to do it well. When I did that, I saw my grades consistently improve to the point that I graduated cum laude in May 2019, proving her wrong, and even surprising myself a bit.

I can’t speak for the study methods of others given that I was an engineering student and almost all of my homework involved some sort of computation. However, these are the things I found that work for me when it comes to studying and actually retaining information:

1. Study in a calm location.

What I mean by this is study in a location where you will not be easily interrupted or disturbed. That means if your roommate is too loud or has friends over, go somewhere else. For me, it was always the library or a coffee shop. I practically lived in those places during college. Find a location that will get you into a state of flow and you can focus on what you’re actually there for, studying.

2. Begin studying early and often.

Something I learned quickly in college was to study often. No matter if your exam is 3 weeks away, the best time to start studying is now. My heat transfer professor always used to say that the first 48-hours after a lecture are the most critical in retaining information. That is, you want to study and look over your notes within two days of learning any new information in your classes or risk having to relearn it all over again yourself. For me, I would like to stagger my workloads and the classes I would study for in a given day to prevent burning myself out. However your schedule works out, try and dedicate a day to some classes and a day to your other classes. A general rule of thumb is to study at least two hours a day. Priorities will require you to study more on most days but what you’ll see is that you will find yourself much more prepared when exam day comes.

3. Allow yourself to take breaks.

Probably one of the more important points I’ll make here: take breaks during your studies. Have you been warming the same seat in the library for 2 hours. Take a break. Go for a walk, grab a snack, grab a meal with some friends, go to the gym, lay down on the quad, listen to music, watch Netflix — do whatever you, personally, need to do that is not studying. This will allow time for your brain to decompress and wind down a bit. It’ll give you a chance to get a breath of fresh air and regain your focus. Don’t skimp out on breaks. The last thing you want to do is burn yourself out or pull an all-nighter. And if you’re paying attention to what I’m saying, you’ll start studying early and often to the point where you won’t even need to be pulling an all-nighter in the first place.

4. Use every (ethical) resource at your disposal to achieve academic success.

If you don’t understand something: use your textbook. Use your notes from class. Use the professor’s lecture notes if it’s available to you. Use the person that sits next to you in class. Use your professor’s office hours to have a one-on-one with them regarding the subject. Use resources your school provides for academic assistance like one-on-one peer tutoring. Use the Internet. I can’t tell you how much Chegg helped me understand the material in a lot of my classes. What I’m getting with this is that there are SO many ways to try and understand something. Don’t just chalk it up to “Oh well the chances this will be on the exam are small anyway” and just give up. It can be nerve-wracking to ask for help, believe me I know. But don’t be afraid to do it. No one wants to see you fail, not your professors, not your parents or peers, and especially not you. Take ownership of your academics, find the help you need when something isn’t clicking, and you’ll start to see improvement.

5. Stay organized.

Organization is absolutely key to being successful, not just in college but in life. College can be a busy time so it can be easy to miss deadlines or be unprepared for that exam or that presentation. Find a way to organize important dates and deadlines whether you use a planner or an app. For me, at the start of every week, I take a piece of paper and write down everything I already know I have to get done this week as far as assignments and homework goes. I add on to it as things come up throughout the week. For me personally, it’s easier for me to process and retain information when I am able to both see and touch whatever is in question. So for me, a piece of paper with a to-do list is all it took. For you, you may find that using a planner/calendar app is better for you.

In addition to keeping your to-do list organized, it’s important to keep your schoolwork and notes organized as well. When you find these things organized, you’ll find that it’s easier to navigate your notes and thoughts. Before, the time that you would spend fumbling through your backpack or your notebooks to find those notes you took from lecture earlier is time wasted. Now, you can seamlessly flip through all your notes and follow a continuous train of thought. For me, I would buy a single 3-inch binder with a set of dividers every semester. Each divider was for a class I was taking for that term. Within each of those dividers contained all my lecture notes (dated), homework assignments, lab notes, etc. This made it easy for me to find exactly what I was looking for when I was studying and led to a lot less time-wasting.

6. Find what works for you.

This is something I’ll be saying a lot throughout this series. For some people, they’re able to study more effectively when they are with a group. This way, they are able to bounce ideas off of one another and help each other out when another is struggling. For me, it was the opposite. I found that studying with friends or a group was distracting to me. I would feel compelled to talk to them or distract myself with social media. When I study, I like to do it in solitude with a cup of coffee or tea and some soft lo-fi music in the background. This is what I found works best for me that gets me into a state of flow.

You need to try and find what works for you. Don’t be afraid to try something new to achieve YOUR goals and YOUR desires. Remember first and foremost your reason for being in college, which I hope, is an education. Prioritize you and your studies first.

Throughout my time in college, I screwed up a lot when it came to my academics or my social life. The nice thing is that things don’t always have to be the way they are. You have all the power to change things. I hope that some of these tips translate to your own studies and experiences and can be of great use to you. It definitely was for me.

College is a beautiful time for any individual. It’s the time that so many of us really start molding into the people we’re going to be the rest of our lives. But college isn’t easy. Just as it can be one of the most beautiful, fun, and fulfilling times of a person’s life, it can also be one of the darkest and loneliest times. If interested, keep reading this series as I dive into my own experiences with the social scene at my university and how my depression and anxiety clouded over me everyday.

Although this is only my first writing, I plan on adding to this series often as I discuss my own experiences with college and young adulthood. My hope is that people will see they are not alone in their struggles and that maybe — what we needed all along, was a helping hand.