Time is a funny thing

Can someone please explain to me how and when it became April? I know time flies when you’re having fun but at this point the weeks are flying by at a rate that is honestly a little unsettling. As of now I have just over a month until I go back home, and only three weeks until my program is over. Most of the time it still feels like I just got here. This is not going to be one of those “I wish I never had to leave Europe” posts because really I don’t wish I never had to leave Europe. As much as I love it here, I’m very much looking forward to coming home. This is mostly just about the realization that I have in fact been in Italy for over 2 full months and how intensely aware I now am of how I spend my time.

The amount of places I’ve been able to go and things I’ve been able to do in the short amount of time I’ve been here is a little surprising. I recently did a long weekend in Paris, which would have been pretty much been impossible (and wildly expensive) had I attempted to do that from the US. On the way back from that, we stopped by Pisa to see the leaning tower, then got dinner in Florence on the way home. Who does that? Who just stops by cities like Pisa and Florence? Apparently me, because Europe is this crazy place where you can go to a million different places on any given weekend. I’m not saying you should go to a million different places, but the opportunities to get out and see new places are quite literally endless.

If I think back to how I was spending my weekends this time last year, the things that come to mind include laundry, homework, grocery shopping, and maybe (if I was feeling wild and crazy) going to get coffee or breakfast with a friend. Granted, this time last year was second semester sophomore year, which is the college equivalent of being punched in the kidneys continuously while waiting in a never-ending line at the DMV. But even still, had I not been taking 21 credits and stressing enough to take years off my life, my weekends probably would’ve been just as uneventful. Being here has taught me so much about what it means to have free time and use it in ways that make me happy. WHY would I spend an entire weekend locked inside doing homework when the weather is beautiful and there are places to go and things to do everywhere I turn? “But Michelle,” you might say, “America is boring and there’s nothing to do, it’s not like ~Europe~” To which I say, I REFUSE to believe that. Yeah, Europe’s really cool and I get to be abroad here and do fun Europe things like see the Eiffel tower and eat really good Spaghetti, but that’s beside the point. I will not accept as an excuse that there’s nothing to do, because I always leave Boston, and even Hillsborough, saying things like “Oh I wish I had done that this semester” or “I wish I got to do that this summer.” No more excuses, even things like sitting outside enjoying the sun, or seeing that part of the city that I’ve never really gotten to explore before are enough.

Since I’ve been here, I’ve been thinking a lot about this quote that I found a few years ago — on pinterest, of course, because where else would a teenage girl be looking for meaningful quotes about life and existence?:

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives” — Annie Dillard

When I first read it, I had one of those, “wow this is great, I’ll start tomorrow,” kind of moments, and just tucked it away in the back of my mind. I haven’t stopped thinking about it recently though, because I feel like I’m finally realizing what it means to live in a way that is more about how I want to spend my time, not just how I need to spend my day. That’s something I don’t want to lose when I come back at the end of this semester.

There’s no reason to have to wait for a vacation or extended break for these things, and they don’t all have to be on the scale of full weekend trips. There’s so much around us that we usually just ignore because we’re so distracted by all the little things that have to get done. There are always going to be things that have to get done, and if we can’t look past those to the things that we actually want to experience, spending days of only doing the mandatory things turns into spending months and years that way. Before we know it, that’s how we spend most of our lives.

For me, it’s a matter of prioritizing the things that feel like living over the things that feel like getting by. Of course, I can’t ignore responsibilities, but there has to be a balance. Even little things can make a difference, and it’s worth considering whether the way we’re spending our days is the way we want to be spending our lives. The time will still fly by just as fast, but at the end of the day, we’ll feel fuller and happier because of it.