Photo by Axel Antas-Bergkvist

Do or do not — there is no try

How this one tip changed my life

Roy Quilor
An Introverts Journey
3 min readDec 17, 2015

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I was lazy, laid back, a unambitious person with the excuse of being an introvert.

You know the feeling, an opportunity arises to go out of your comfort zone. It could be a simple social gathering and you respond with the answer maybe. Or I will try, but the truth is you won’t bother.

I’ve been on both sides of the fence, two friends rejected my social gatherings. But if they just came out, we would have a good time. Instead, they always came back with the same answer and never turned up.

I know this pattern so I just asked one of them why? He responded and said I just wanna be lazy and stay in. I loved the response because of his honesty.

Master Yoda — his years wise beyond

There is nothing wrong with being lazy, in fact, it can be amazing. But if you apply master Yoda’s words, you will find it life changing.

A friend recommended a self-development course and thought it could help me out.

I decided to go. That same master Yoda mantra was the one powerful thing I took away from it. When you’re in a situation to say maybe or I’ll try — that is not an option. You need to be more direct and honest.

Just make up your mind there and then, say yes or no and see how your life will change. Boy did it change for me.

The three most stressful things in life are:

  • Getting married
  • Buying a house
  • Having a baby

Well in that specific order, the first two in one year. It all become a reality. How my life unfolded:

Match heaven made

My girlfriend at the time, together for five years, I was freelancing at the time. Trying to become a web designer, I sacrificed a lot of time to learn about typography, the grid, color and code.

We hardly went out, ate in most of the time, didn’t go on holidays unlike our friends around us. She managed to save money, whilst I learned to be a designer.

What the hell did she see in me? I’m the luckiest laziest laidback guy on earth.

Let’s be honest, will she stick around forever if I stayed the same?

Not

She is my soulmate, I felt guilty for not pushing myself and you know what, I proposed to her. Thank god she said yes.

With my mum living. Yes, hmmm

I was at the tender age of 28. After my proposal, that took her by surprise, we made a decision to get a house in the same year. How crazy is that?

If we’re getting married, is she comfortable living at my mums which was a small 2 bed flat in London, no.

Would I be comfortable living at her parents? Hell no (no disrespect to either family). So, do or do not — there is no try.

We were in for a reality check. Long story short, after our years of living below our means, my wife saved a lot and I managed to get a job as a web designer. Mortgage approved.

Of spawn children. Yeesssssss

Two years and three months later, my beautiful princess was born. We saw a miracle — it’s called life.

Enough of my life story. It sounds hard, but get the try or maybe out of your brain. Think of yes or no as your only options, then results, relationships and life becomes easier.

Sounds simple, but try this experiment for just one day. A friend or an event that you keep avoiding, say yes or be honest and say no.

Been trying for a life goal, don’t try, do or do not.

Amazing things will happen.

If a master of procrastination, lazy, laid back person can do it, you can too.

If you noticed my weird subheadings, have fun with this Yoda generator

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Roy Quilor
An Introverts Journey

A beginner in MMA. Designer, Minimalist. Learn together and grow stronger www.awwesome.com