Guilt hoarding anyone?
Are you a guilt hoarder? I’m not talking about the psychological guilt instilled in us by families or religion or whatever other societal organization we’ve allowed into our psyche. I’m talking about physical possessions that we have and keep around only out of a nagging sense of guilt. Or out of sentiment. Or out of a sense of duty.
If you are a baby boomer, you most likely have a set of china, crystal, silver, etc. that you acquired as wedding gifts. You may or may not still have the spouse, but I’ll bet you have these things somewhere and feel as if you can’t part with them. These pieces may be used all the time if you are big on entertaining. The “good dishes” may be used a couple of times a year at holiday parties or family dinners. Or they may not be used at all; they could be packed away in an attic or basement taking up precious storage space or worst of all they may be costing you exorbitant monthly fees because they are languishing away in some storage unit somewhere.
I worked with one client who didn’t watch television. He did own one that he used, but he kept it in a closet and only pulled it out and set it up for specific purposes such as watching a particular sporting event or the Oscars, for instance. However we were cleaning out his one closet to create storage for things. In the culling process, I came across a large flat screen television in a box. I asked him about it and he said, “Oh, that’s my father’s tv — he left it to me. I can’t get rid of that, can I?” Of course my response was, “The television is NOT your father, don’t keep something that takes up half of your one closet and that you never ever use just out of guilt. If it is nice, then get rid of your other one and use this one.” His response was that the television he occasionally uses is nicer and he likes it better. That was a discussion I did not win however, he could not be convinced that he could get rid of his “inheritance”.
My point with all this is that you don’t have to acquire or keep these things if it’s only out of a sense of guilt. Your mother or MIL may be of the school that think you can’t exist without a “good” set of china and an “everyday” set of dishes. That’s not necessarily true. If you love it, have the room for it, and truly use it, then by all means, have all the dishes you want. If however, your entire, and perhaps only, storage closet is jammed packed with crystal and china in boxes that you never ever use, then you are giving up some pretty valuable storage space for something you’re keeping out of guilt or a sense of obligation.
As you are evaluating your belongings, whether in preparation for a move or just for decluttering purposes, please don’t keep around things that you are just storing for the sake of having it around. Don’t keep it just so you can burden your own children with it someday. Don’t feel guilty about letting it go. Don’t think that letting go of the thing will in any way diminish your love or memory for whoever gave it to you. The things are not the person!
Sarah Campbell is a professional organizer in the city of Chicago. She specializes in decluttering, organizing, preparing for moves and unpacking and setting up after a move for households and small businesses. Contact her at Sarah@anorganizedlifechicago.com for help with your organizing challenges!
