Machine Learning Models Give (Mostly Terrible) Dating Advice

Transformers: Attention is all you need

Source: Unsplash

• Transformers: Attention is all you need
• Support Vector Machine: So you’ll want to make very certain that you maximize the margin between him and any other girls. Draw a strict line regarding this and keep moving the line until he only has eyes for you.
• Generative Adversarial Network (GAN): It’s all about looking the part. Pretend to be everything he wants in a partner. Eventually, he won’t be able to discriminate if you’re fake or real and you’ll win him over.
• Principal Component Analysis: Yeah he’s rough around the edges but if you smooth him out a little and look at his main features, he’s a great guy. Most of the variance in his behavior is totally explainable by good intent — he just makes a little meaningless noise sometimes.
• Convolutional Neural Network (CNN): You gotta make sure to filter your words— you can’t just let all your feelings come pouring out. Take each conversation in stride.
• Recurrent Neural Network (RNN): Constantly remind her of everything you’ve done for her. Keep her memory intact. That’s how you keep her.
• K-Nearest-Neighbors: The way to get a girl is to get close to her friends.
• Latent Dirichlet Allocation: Yeah before each date you gotta meticulously make a list of topics to talk about and keywords related to those topics so you can keep generating a good conversation. Doesn’t matter if you jumble the words up a little though — as long as the keywords are all bagged up and there you’re good.

Concluding Note

I hope this post gave you a good laugh — I certainly had loads of fun writing it! Do respond if you have more of these to add to the list! But please do not take the toxic advice that some of our machine learning & deep learning models gave us!