Insomnia Progressio
When you need to sleep for work tomorrow, but you can’t. It’s the middle of the night, something is keeping you up. Whether a coworker perhaps tried to throw you out of the commuter train, your friends or relatives said something rude, your mind can’t stop thinking about work, whatever it is, you can’t get it out of your head. It’s crap, man.
I’ve had my share of those nights, and they’re the worst. It doesn’t even have to be something serious that’s keeping you awake, either. Sometimes it’s small; a snide comment or the assertion that you’re not doing your job well. Other times it can be serious, like hearing through the grapevine that someone important said something off-color about you. Combine this with even a little stress and anxiety, and your brain is off to the races at the worst of times — the middle of the night. I’m willing to bet you’ve been there too.
Wake up, get out of bed, drag a comb across your hair
This kind of “in the moment” stress is called acute stress, and the last thing you want when you’re dealing with it (or its cousin, stress-related anxiety,) is to dwell on it in a futile attempt to sort it out in your head. The more you follow your thoughts around in circles, the deeper that feedback loop of stress and anxiety goes. The end result is a dangerous cycle: You get more stressed, more tired, and the night continues to slip away from you. Knowing you have to get up soon stresses you out even more, which keeps you from sleeping…lather, rinse, repeat.
Of course, if getting back to sleep were as easy as “just put it out of your mind and relax,” there wouldn’t be a problem. Lying there isn’t going to help, so when you find yourself stressing out, stop and get out of bed. Doing something else for a little while will help you shake it off.
This is more important than it sounds. The longer you stay in bed, the more you risk tossing and turning all night. When this happens, your body stops recognizing your bed as a restful space. Let your bed air out and cool down, and give your body a chance to actually want to return to its blissfully blanketed comfort. Walk around a bit. Make a cup of tea or pour a glass of water. Do something refreshing that shakes the funk you were in while you were replaying the events of the day. It’s no panacea, but it breaks the cycle, and that’s a critical starting point.
Whatever You Do, Don’t Work
If you do pick up your phone or open your laptop when you’re having trouble to sleep, don’t start working. Whatever you do, don’t try to “be productive,” or address whatever stressed you out in the first place. Don’t reply to that irritating email, or fire a text to your friend asking about whatever you heard they said. DO NOT engage. Trying to “solve” the problem amps up your stress levels, which, of course, delays you getting back to sleep. Worse, it may put you even more on edge as you worry about how your message will be received, when it’ll be received, and what the inevitable response will look like.
Then you have to worry about what it looks like to your friends and colleagues that you were up at three in the morning firing off email or posting to Facebook. Some coworkers might think you’re an overachiever. Your friends might think you’re mental. I’ve been there: I’ve walked into the office the following morning to praise that I was up working in the middle of the night because I was stressed about a project that couldn’t sleep. It sounds great, but being an overachiever comes with risks, and people eventually start to expect you to work around the clock. And i got minor stroke. Your friends probably won’t praise you for those late-night texts or emails trying to clear the air, but they’d likely appreciate a face-to-face talk, or at least texting when they have time to respond, instead of waking up to you being unhappy with them. Sleepless nights suck, but you can’t solve everything at 3am. Doing so comes with real sacrifices in sanity, and even more sleepless nights.
If It Comes Down to It, Take a Day Off
Finally, if push comes to shove, fire up your work email and just let your boss know you won’t be in the next morning. Play it off like you need a mental health day, or you’re feeling sick overnight and can’t get the sleep you need to function the next day. Set an alarm not to wake up for work, but to call in and tell your boss you can’t make it today (or better yet, leave a message on their office phone before they get in!) Many a sleepless night I’ve found just emailing my boss at 3am and saying “hey, I’m having a rough night and I’ll need to take tomorrow off/come in late for a half-day tomorrow, I’m not feeling well,” is enough to settle my mind enough that I can go right off to sleep. The break the next morning is nice, too.
Of course, not all of us have the flexibility to just take the day off because we’re suffering a little stress-related insomnia, but if you have the luxury of taking a little time off or a sick day, take it. Your sanity is worth it.
