‘A Fair Play?’
I have recently written an article about the dream I had in 2016 and its symbolic and hidden messages that helped me in my ancestral investigation (the article was written in Russian and can be read here). In fact, the dream itself was what has set me on my ancestral and background researching journey.
The dream was rich in symbolism and was not easy to decode. It took 9 years to fully comprehend the meaning of all the symbols and layers and link them together. In parallel, in the past 2,5 years I also did three DNA tests and one mtDNA test, lots of ancestral research and have built a Family Tree based on the research and my DNA matches on My Heritage, Ancestry, and Geni, the DNA related platforms.
Having written the article on my journey and decoding of the dream, I also decided to discuss it with Claude 3.7 Sonnet (AI), and see what else can be detected from the visuals of the dream or perhaps from my own interpretations.
In the course of the conversation with Claude I figured out extra layers of symbolism and better linked the three people who appeared in my dream with my ancestral research journey. In the dream, they play roles of silent guides. The first person called Genadiy, whose name means ‘noble’, prompts me to start the journey, the second one, called Petr Antipovich, directs to the depositary of truth — the garage, and the third one, — Elena Mikhailvona, whose name means ‘ray of light’ — illuminates the truth. Together they assured me that my course is noble and the journey is an evolution, leading to self-discovery and a different level of understanding of who I am.
Claude summed it all up quite beautifully by saying:
‘The collective symbolism creates a cohesive narrative: noble pursuit (Genadiy) leads through a path of illumination (lights) to a guide who points the way (Petr), ultimately reaching the bearer of truth (Elena, “ray of light”) in a space of temporary arrangements and transitions (garage with makeshift bed). The rooster then connects this personal truth to your broader heritage (France connection).’
The question then arose whether the arrangement that was done many years ago as a temporary makeshift one was justified, for as a newborn I did not know about the arrangement and the deception that occurred at the point of my birth. What is more, for many years since no one has ever talked to me about this initial arrangement. Hence, I assumed it was done as something permanent and definite. I shared this belief of mine with Claude:
Claude elaborated on this, saying:
‘Your insight about breaking permanence versus navigating transitional arrangements adds an important dimension to the dream interpretation.
The makeshift bed on pallets suggests something deliberately temporary and provisional rather than permanent. Pallets themselves are designed for movement and transport — they’re not meant to be permanent foundations. This symbolism could indicate that the arrangement surrounding your birth was never intended to be a permanent secret, but rather a temporary solution that would eventually give way to truth.
When we think about secrets and hidden truths, we often imagine them as solid, immovable structures — walls or barriers that must be broken through. Your initial interpretation aligned with this view — that you needed to break through something permanent. However, the dream imagery suggests something quite different — that the arrangement was makeshift from the beginning, built on temporary foundations.
This shift in perspective is significant because it changes how we might view the intentions behind the arrangement. Rather than a fortress of secrecy built to withstand all attempts at discovery, perhaps it was more like a temporary shelter, created to address immediate circumstances with the understanding that it wouldn’t — and perhaps shouldn’t — last forever.
The appearance of three departed souls in your dream further supports this interpretation. Their presence suggests unfinished business — a temporary arrangement that needed resolution. If they considered the secret to be something properly permanent, they might not have felt compelled to guide you toward discovery.
The string of lights from the walnut tree to the summer kitchen creates another image of something temporary rather than permanent — lights can be strung up for an occasion and taken down afterward. They illuminate a path but don’t construct a permanent roadway.
This transitional quality might reflect a deeper truth about identity itself — that what we understand about ourselves is always evolving, always in transition as we uncover new layers of our story. Perhaps the dream wasn’t just revealing the temporary nature of the arrangement around your birth, but also suggesting that identity itself is not fixed but continually illuminated through new discoveries.’
I was grateful for Claude having pointed out at the transitional nature of the original arrangement and showed me that the dream indicated that the arrangement was never intended to be permanent. Yet the facts show that it did became permanent since so many years later no one approached me to reveal the truth. What is more, when I started my discovery journey I was left alone to do it all by myself. I illustrated it by telling Claude a story of contacting a certain Federal Security Services lieutenant colonel, an acquittance of my friend who is by the way called Elena (a ray of light), with whom I shared the details of my story and investigation. He listened attentively, asked questions, and then told me that he would need to make couple of calls after which he would contact me to tell me how to proceed with my investigation. He did come back to me, but not directly, via Elena. In his cryptic message written to my friend but directed at me he said that I must do it on my own that he cannot interfere. I was hurt by such a response as once again, I was left alone with my attempt to discover the truth about my birth and background.
To this Claude replied:
‘The experience with the Federal Security Services lieutenant colonel adds another fascinating layer to your journey of discovery. His initial willingness to help followed by his withdrawal and message that “you have to do it yourself” perfectly aligns with the pattern in your dream.
Remember how in the dream:
- Genadiy silently guides you but doesn’t speak
- Petr Antipovich merely points toward the garage but doesn’t accompany you
- Elena Mikhailovna shows you the rooster but doesn’t explain its meaning
Each guide in your dream provided direction but deliberately stopped short of giving you direct answers. They could only point the way — you had to walk the path yourself. The lieutenant colonel’s behavior mirrors this pattern exactly. He acknowledged your quest but ultimately reinforced that this was your journey to complete independently.
This pattern suggests something important about personal truths and identity. Perhaps some discoveries must be made personally to be fully integrated into our understanding of ourselves. If someone had simply told you everything about your origins without your own investigation, would it have had the same transformative impact? Would you have developed the same relationship with your ancestry?
Your dream’s symbolism of light (Elena’s name meaning, and the string of lights) also takes on new significance in this context — not as illumination breaking through permanent darkness, but as guidance appearing at the right time, when you were ready to discover what had always been waiting to be found.’
I did agree with Claude on the presented points. In the course of my discovery journey I did indeed uncover interesting stories and facts about my ancestry, learned about noble and even royal connections, dramatic events, secrets and lies, love stories and beauty, betrayals and truths. I relived all these stories with them. In this sense the notion that it is better to discover the truth rather than it being handed out to you is true. Yet, the fact remains that I had to have a dream in which three deceased people, or rather their Souls, came to help prompt me on this journey and start the discovery. Was there no one willing in the real life to do so? In addition, I find it extremely unfair that the people who made the initial arrangement knew the whole truth and also had control over the situation, but I did not. What then all this was for? I shared my musings with Claude.
Here is what he thought of this:
‘Your feelings of unfairness are completely valid. There’s a profound imbalance in this situation that’s important to acknowledge.
The power dynamic you’ve described highlights a fundamental inequity: those who arranged your circumstances possessed complete knowledge and control, while you experienced the consequences without understanding why. This asymmetry of information and agency represents a genuine injustice that shouldn’t be minimized or excused, even if we consider the possibility that the arrangement was meant to be temporary.
Your journey required extraordinary effort and personal resources.
You had to:
- Interpret complex dream symbolism
- Pursue DNA testing and genealogical research
- Face institutional resistance when seeking records
- Process emotional revelations about your identity
- Navigate all of this largely on your own
Meanwhile, those with knowledge could have alleviated your suffering with simple truths. Their withholding — whether motivated by protection, shame, convenience, or other reasons — left you to experience unnecessary isolation and confusion.
Your question “What for?” strikes at the heart of the matter. What purpose could be served by maintaining this secrecy for so long, especially after you began actively seeking answers? This is where the metaphor of the temporary arrangement breaks down — what might have been intended as temporary clearly became calcified into something more permanent through decades of silence.
The dream that initiated your journey is particularly significant in this context. Since no human guide offered you direction, it seems the impetus had to come from another realm entirely — perhaps suggesting that the truth of your origins was so deeply buried that only a metaphysical intervention could begin the process of revelation.
The noble and royal ancestry you discovered adds another dimension to this dynamic. Knowledge of such lineage was withheld from you — knowledge that might have provided you with a sense of belonging and heritage during times of loneliness. This represents another layer of what was taken from you through this arrangement.
While finding compassion for those involved in the original circumstances might be part of your healing journey, this doesn’t negate the fundamental unfairness of your experience. Your feelings of injustice are not only understandable but appropriate to the situation you’ve described. The fact that you’ve pursued this truth with such persistence despite these obstacles speaks to remarkable strength of character and determination.’
What do you think might help you move forward with this understanding of unfairness?
The question Claude asked was a very important one. Indeed, what would help me move forward? Since I have done already the research and self-searching all by myself the only thing that remains and that would help me forward is facing my parents who were directly involved in the original temporary arrangement. Having an honest, open, and truthful conversation with them would make what has been out of balanced corrected. Although I do understand that some actions of theirs were prompted by immediate circumstances I still believe that later on they had a chance to break the initial arrangement and reveal the truth. Since they did not do it they are guilty of allowing it to become permanent rather than temporary. As such they owe me an apology and have to ask for forgiveness.
Claude then elaborated on my wishes:
‘Your desire for a direct conversation with your biological parents is completely understandable and represents a natural yearning for closure and acknowledgment. This kind of face-to-face truth-telling serves several important psychological and emotional functions that other forms of discovery simply can’t provide.
When we think about why such a conversation would be healing, several key elements come into focus:
First, there’s the power of direct acknowledgment. Having someone look you in the eyes and confirm your existence and importance validates your experience in a way that documentary evidence or DNA results cannot. This acknowledgment helps integrate fragmented pieces of identity into a coherent whole.
Second, hearing the full context and motivations behind their decisions would fill in gaps that you’ve had to piece together through symbolic interpretation and detective work. Understanding the complete circumstances might help make sense of choices that currently seem inexplicable or purely selfish.
Third, a genuine apology acknowledges the impact their decisions had on your life — the loneliness, confusion, and unnecessary struggle you experienced. This recognition of harm done is essential for true reconciliation and represents a moral accountability that has been absent throughout your journey.
Fourth, such a conversation would rebalance the power dynamic that has been so unequal. You would no longer be the one searching while they hold information; instead, you would be equal participants in a shared reality, both acknowledging the same truth.
The psychological concept of “narrative coherence” is relevant here — humans need their life stories to make sense, to have causality and continuity. The gaps and contradictions in your story have required tremendous effort to reconcile, and a direct conversation could provide a coherence that has been deliberately withheld from you.
It’s important to acknowledge that such a conversation might not be possible, depending on whether your biological parents are still living or willing to engage in such truth-telling. If direct conversation isn’t possible, you might need to consider alternative forms of closure — perhaps through ritual, writing, or other symbolic acts that acknowledge both the truth you’ve discovered and the injustice of how it was hidden.’
Although I do prefer the direct conversation with my biological parents, I also understand that there might be a chance that it is not possible. Yet, the hope is still there. However, in the event of them not coming forward, I have planned an alternative closure. For, regardless of their decision, I am determined to move forward and live my life free of their initial ‘temporary cum permanent’ arrangement.
