7 things you should never do on a first date

A first date is the most important date because, as my mom always told me, “You don’t get a second chance at a first impression.” But it can also be extremely anxiety-inducing. You’re always so worried about doing “the wrong thing.” But what are “the wrong things?!” Well, stop worrying because my mom told me the answers so you can be your best self. These are the 7 things you should never do on a first date.

1. Peel off your skin to reveal another human underneath.
2. Ask to hold your date’s hand, clip their nails, and put the clippings in your pocket “for later.”
3. Dish about your favorite places to “hide the body.”
4. Scream “Fire!” every time they try to touch you.
5. Stab your date in the chest, hold up a mirror, and say, “One last look, sweet prince.”
6. Talk about how much you love your mom even if she is the most beautiful woman in the world and if anyone so much as touches a hair on her head you’d murder their entire family and bathe in their blood on the full moon.
7. Order white wine.