Head of Partnerships Guy at Tech Conference Repeatedly Insists “Let’s Explore Potential Value” to Anything Alive

Andy Jiang
Andreessen Horoscopes

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Lee Burnidge, Head of Partnerships at Palm.ai, was reportedly ambling through the 360° Thinking Summit 2017 exhibition hall, announcing his enthusiasm to explore “creating potential value” to anything alive. “You have data, we have data, and, combined, our data will be more valuable,” Burnidge, mid-30’s and dressed in an oversized blazer and blue jeans, outwardly exclaimed to nobody in particular, while onlookers staffed at booths actively avoided eye contact. “Who doesn’t like data?”

Though the exhibition hall was filled with laughter, conversations, and sales opportunities being created, there was a noticeable absence of not only any business activity, but also of life, surrounding Burnidge as he made his way from booth to booth. When nobody visibly reacted to Burnidge’s pleas to schedule a “discovery call”, he turned his attention to a discarded yogurt cup on a table.

At press time, Burnidge was finally asked about a potential integration for Palm.ai, to which he responded “let me ask our product team and get back to you.”

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Andy Jiang
Andreessen Horoscopes

writer, comic, engineer. poking out of my bamboo cage.