Local Man’s Most Valuable Contribution to Society is His Online Personal Data

Andy Jiang
Jun 20, 2017 · 2 min read

SAN JOSE, CA—Though Brad Dagan is a loving husband, generous father of three, well-respected community figure, and VP of Operations at a regional bank, his most valued contribution to society is his online personal data, sources confirmed.

“We’ve been married over twenty years and he’s an extraordinary, loving father with only goodness in his being,” his wife, Maria, told reporters. “But those all pale in comparison to the value of his personal data,” she continued, indicating they allow thousands of e-commerce businesses to optimize their digital marketing campaigns to improve conversions.

Dagan, an exemplary leader within the local community, also spearheaded and sits on the boards of high profile organizations. “Without Dagan’s vision and operational expertise, [Sunshine Kids] would’ve never been able to engage our youth in the arts,” Stuart Sun said. “Still, the real value of Dagan is in the data generated by his internet use, since it enables multi-million dollar companies to better target their online advertisements.”

At press time, Dagan was seen attempting to help his neighbor move a couch, but then was told to get back on his smart phone to complete his search for a new golf club head cover.


We survive on 💚’s, so please give us one down below!

Andreessen Horoscopes

Andreessen Horoscopes is the premiere divination-driven…

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store