New Year’s Resolutions Are Usually Destined to Fail, So Don’t Make Them
Focus on keystone habits instead
I always ask so many people at the beginning of the year, “Do you have New Year’s Resolutions?” For 2021, it seemed almost insensitive to bring it up.
Failing a New Year’s resolution seems to be a cultural rite of passage. Anything from skimping on your new diet to staying a few hours past your “new” bedtime to never attending that one dance you swore you would go to.
Whether you love resolutions or have sworn off of them, you agree there are goals you want to accomplish. In fact, 41 percent of Americans typically make new year’s resolutions.
But of that 41 percent, only about 9.2 percent of people actually achieve their goals. Why is that?
Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail
There are a few reasons why New Year’s Resolutions fail.
- you want to change too much too soon
- you don’t have a system to keep yourself accountable
- you don’t have a plan of attack
- your resolutions aren’t aligned with your true values or desires
- your resolution isn’t under your control
There’s nothing wrong with having multiple resolutions, but you will more likely feel overwhelmed than inspired.
Completely overhauling your diet and exercise routine feels impossible if you’re looking for a new job.
Learning a new language when you’ve just taken on a big project at work feels uninspiring.
What can you do instead?
Instead of setting New Year’s Resolutions, focus on Keystone Habits.
Rather than trying to start all sorts of new, shiny habits during an unbelievably stressful and traumatic time in the world, focus on finding and nurturing your keystone habit.
A keystone habit, made popular by Charles Duhigg’s book The Power of Habit, is a habit that produces positive ripple effects in other aspects of their lives.
Rather than trying to improve so many different areas of your life, put your time and energy into a keystone habit to see positive changes. Keystone habits are powerful because they allow more positive change to occur. These habits are fundamental, and usually center around practices that are non-negotiable for a person to feel their best.
How to find your keystone habit
Think about the days where you felt put together and prepared for the challenges of the day. Do you remember what laid the structure for that successful feeling? If you’re unsure about what your keystone habit is, try one of the following for a week and see if you notice any changes.
- planning your week on Sunday evening
- batch cooking/meal prepping once or twice a week
- making your breakfast the night before
- writing in your journal for 20 minutes after waking up
- getting ready for bed at 9 PM and falling asleep by 10 PM
- taking a daily walk after lunch for 10 minutes
Your keystone habit is a form of self-regulation and allows room for more small, positive changes that ultimately make your days easier to get through. If you notice that one of these things allows for other positive habits to emerge, then you’ve found a keystone habit!
The ripple effects of a keystone habit
When you start nurturing a keystone habit, you become committed to improving other aspects of your life by default.
Here’s an example of how a keystone habit can reach into other areas of your life.
Keystone Habit: Planning and cooking meals weekly
My keystone habit is planning my meals, days for cooking, and grocery shopping each week. Here’s how I implement it:
- Thursday or Friday evening: search for 2–3 recipes for the week ahead
- Saturday morning: grocery shopping for any ingredients needed
- Sunday morning: batch cook lunch and dinner for Monday-Thursday
- Thursday evening: batch cook lunch and dinner for Friday-Sunday
During the weeks I stick to this schedule, I notice so many benefits.
- I’m more likely to stick to my weekly budget, instead of spending extra money on food
- I feel more energized and focused at work because I’ve eaten consistently
- I can spend time during the week on side projects or hobbies
- I don’t feel the stress of planning grocery runs or cooking on odd days
- With less stress, I sleep better and am more ready to tackle the next day
Final Thoughts
New Year’s Resolutions might have been a fun activity to do at the beginning of a calendar year, but they’re overhyped and can often make you feel worse. Especially during stressful times in your life (like a global pandemic), it’s more important to foster small habits that benefit your health more than chase after arbitrary goals that won’t actually improve your wellbeing.
