Attack on Titan SHOCK: Studio DEEN to Produce Season 4
Perennial mainstream anime crossover success Attack on Titan was today rocked by further controversy. The first three seasons of the colossal hit, an adaptation of the long-running manga by Hajime Isayama, were produced by the acclaimed Wit Studio. Although a fourth season was announced in 2019, it seemed to be without the involvement of Wit who have since moved on to animate screaming angsty boys murdering Vikings instead of gargantuan grinning naked genital-less monstrosities.
Season 3 adapted up to what fans of the manga generally admit was likely to have been the originally planned conclusion to the series. However because giant manga-publishing corporations enjoy generating money by crushing artistic minions underfoot to squeeze out the maximum volume of creative juice, they “persuaded” Isayama to continue past his intricately planned denouement, and thereby secure for himself at least a few more years of funding for meagre food scraps to provide for his destitute family.
General opinions regarding the manga’s final arc have been mixed, ranging from “This is bad” to “Oh my God, my eyes are bleeding, please let it die, dear God please let it die.” Sensing the coming Atomic Shitstorm, Wit Studio wisely noped the ever-living-hell out of there, leaving the poisoned well open for another studio to draw up the fetid death-fluids.
Step in Studio Deen, fresh from their “successes” Neo Yokio and The Seven Deadly Sins: Wrath of the Gods, ready to take on the challenge of making a terrible source material somehow even worse.
Deen’s anonymous spokesperson grunted “Hey guys, look. If we’d never hit it out of the park with Fate/Stay Night back in 2006, the Fate franchise would never have become the world-conquering behemoth that is is now. Yeah, we should rightly take credit for that. Don’t worry about Titan. Everything will be fiiiiiiiiine. Right now we’re concentrating on stripping back action sequences to become quick flash cuts of stationary drawings and we’ll squeeze in as much janky, jerky CGI as we possibly can. Off-model is on-point, if you know what I mean. Anything we can do to stamp our identity all over this baby, mark it with our unmistakable scent, we’ll do that. You guys should be ready for one hell of a ride come Fall 2020.”
He then slunk back into the shadows, his face hidden behind a cloth hood, leaving nothing but the stench of ashes and sulphur.
DISCLAIMER: This article was originally published as part of “AniTAY Comedy Week 2020” and is therefore not to be taken remotely seriously.
Originally published at https://anitay.kinja.com on April 1, 2020.
