some days

a poem

Nude Woman Reclining, Vincent van Gogh

~
.

some days, 
it’s everything all at once

tensing twining muscles,

lungs imbibing tiny sips, 
body receiving 
small, shallow
infusions of oxygen

mind neither 
there or here

tears, on the brink

anger, beneath the surface,

frustration crawling
in my skin,

where is the certainty, 
the hope, the knowing
i once had?

i am —

is thinking 
enough to be?

are thoughts
thinking me?

i am swimming 
in murky depths of doubt,
there’s an undertow, 
it pulls me in

i’m going to drown 
in this where no
one lives

pain, bones, muscles,
every nerve
one limb at a time
and all together 
in a symphony

my body swallows
all emotion and feels
it for my soul

if i could, i would 
anesthetize

i don’t know what 
other days are like
they have forgotten 
to come to me.

~

© 2018, A. Breslin. All Rights Reserved