Kinky Fight Club

The first rule of Kinky Fight Club: You do not talk about Kinky Fight Club.

The second rule of Kinky Fight Club. You do not talk about Kinky Fight Club.

So lets break some rules.

Kinky Fight Club is an erotic turn-based fighting game that has so many rough edges I hardly know where to start so lets begin, as most things do, at the beginning.

Jumping into the story mode you would be forgiven for thinking that you’ve accidentally bought another awful visual novel. For the first what feels like hour, the game sets the scene, giving you context for the kinky hobby you’re about to start. To give a quick rundown of this narrative foreplay:

• You’ve recently moved to Atlantic City.
• Your friend’s name is Matt and he’s your Greg Sestero.
• You hit on the girl Matt is attracted to and she invites you to a “secret place” which, for once, turns out not to be a serial killer’s basement though her unblinking expression does little to assuage that fear.
• A mysterious voice guides you through the leather clad foyer of the Kinky Fight Club.
• The developer’s self insert explains the rules and invites you to think about taking part.

And that’s… the first half of the introduction from there on, inbetween inexplicable returns to your bedroom the story has you:

• Think about what you’ve seen and heard and immediately break rule 1 and 2 by telling Matt. While at work of all places.
• You need to get a trainer so you pick between two people at the gym and go through the tutorial. And for the sake of understanding, play the tutorial, the text whips by so fast in the watch tutorial mode you’d get a Spreeder award for managing it.
• After fucking your trainer you get… a little more introduction where the developer gets you set up for your first match.
• And finally, after a gruelling read, you’re ready to sexfight!

For what its worth, while the text feels comparable to Tommy Wiseau’s Lord of the Rings rewrite it does do a few things well. Setting up context for the sexfights helps to show that it is consensual, fun, and safe in a way that really shows the developer’s sex positivity and that’s actually really refreshing. Whichever way you swing on the top — bottom, straight — gay, penised — not penised scale, you’ll get something that at least tries to cater to you.

Tries being the important word there because Kinky Fight Club, for all its hundreds of animations and clothing options (which we’ll cover in a moment) is the developer’s first game and it shows.

We’ll talk about cat eared Eggman in a second but first lets breakdown all the information you have to pay attention to.

The three bars at the top are your Ecstasis, Arousal, and Energy. Which, in reverse order determine, what actions you can perform, how much ecstasis damage you take from an attack, and how close you are to cumming and losing the fight.

Raising your opponent’s Ecstasis involves… stuff. To be honest, whether or not I win has, so far, felt like a flip of the coin. After undressing your opponent, you use your various sex moves (missionary, missionary, missionary, standing missionary, doggy style), foreplay skills, and actions to hopefully raise their bar quicker.

But there’s a bit of a double edged sword in play. Continuing the sex positivity, Kinky Fight Club doesn’t force you to be dominant to win. You can, in the game’s own words, “use your pussy/ass to attack your opponent’s dick/ strap-on”. The only issue is, if you’re a mixed fan like moi, then you’re going to be sat scratching your head over who’s winning.

Is our effeminate catboy Eggman being overpowered or is he cleverly using his thicc booty to defeat his opponent? The answer might shock you! It’s the former, and the way to tell is that quiet little Escape bar. If your opponent has the upper hand you have to rapid tap Z or X to break free.

Maybe if there were transitionary animations it would be possible to follow the action but for some inexplicable reason the game chooses to jump instantly between positions and jarring doesn’t even begin to describe it.

But really, the gameplay is the least interesting thing to talk about. Suffice to say Final Fantasy’s active time battle system was a mistake then and its a mistake now.

So, Eggman, why does he look like that and why did we make him?

Well the why is simple, the character creator has a lot of content. Hundreds of clothing pieces and various options for dick/boob/booty size, face style, hair and facial hair. And we saw almost none of it because that iconic Eggman style shirt and moustache just needed to go together.

But the most important part, why does he look like that? Because men are clearly an afterthought in Kinky Fight Club. The male model is just a female model with the breasts squished in and the waist stretched out. They still have jiggle physics which is hilarious to watch as they gently rotate in the character creator.

And why the cat ears? Well, from my research, the people who play these games really like “neko” for some reason. There’s even an option to have them in the game along with blushing and ahegao. In fact there are a lot of options.

Moan ratio defaults to Always! and trust me, you’ll want to change that immediately. Even on Sometimes they make a lot of noise. But for the sake of being a fully transparent journalist, I will say that my monkey brain seems to need little more than pre-recorded moans to get my Arousal bar rising.

Then scenes like this help bring it back down.

Just look at those wonderful fish claws.

There’s also an in-game shop where you can buy alternate outfits for each base character, extra custom character slots, a horde mode, and sex scenes. But don’t worry, its all in-game currency that you earn by playing the story mode or competing in the Mortal Kombat arcade towers. So far I haven’t made it past the second round of any tower.

So quick fire criticisms and praises:

• PRO — Sex positivity is refreshing to see. No judgement here even if your abs are stolen from a mannequin.
• CON — Put your pants back on, winning requires focus and a 300 APM.
• PRO — There are quite a few different music tracks and they’re not bad.
• CON — Everything having been designed for a female model really shows when a penised person is in a Passive role. Heck, you can still see the badly smoothed over remnants of the labia.
• PRO — The logo is KyFC for obvious legal reasons and that makes me laugh.
• PRO — Teaches certain people that cumming first is not winning.

In the end, Kinky Fight Club has a lot of heart and has its head in the right place but needs work before I can recommend it, especially for the current asking price.

5/10

Plus a bonus point for being able to make your own sex fighter. Here is my beautiful superhero alter-ego.

Top Quotes:

• “Hey be nice with your rival!”
• “Use your pussy/ ass to attack your opponent’s dick/ strap-on”
• “Are you the best fucker in town yet?”
• “Not many put their hopes on you.”
• “Find someone to spend your days with and all those wonderful shits.”

TL;DR Refreshingly sex positive with lots of effort in animation and customisation brought down by a confusing combat system and strange design choices.

You can find Kinky Fight Club on Steam here: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1237530/Kinky_Fight_Club/