Things No-One Tells You About Wearing Hijab.
Where are you at right now with your journey?
I’d assume, by flicking through this particular blog post, that you are either:
- contemplating this epic transition into wearing hijab
- currently embracing your beautiful crown
- or perhaps you’re not quite sure the purpose anymore and find yourself struggling a little right now (it happens to the best of us).
Well, wherever you may be, be proud of yourself.
I’ll be the first to say it’s not easy and don’t let anyone downplay the struggles that come with it.
Now, you’d think you would pretty much know everything that would come with wearing hijab if you’re already doing it, right?
You wouldn’t think there would be anything else to it.
You decide to wear it. It becomes a part of your daily routine. Perhaps you come across some personal struggles but soon enough you embrace it as a part of your new identity and, Bob’s your uncle.
Simples, no?
Well, no.
As a new (ish) hijabi, I found myself realising a bunch of stuff that no-one really told me. I didn’t know how much my daily routine would actually change (apart from the obvious) because of how I was now choosing to represent myself.
I don’t think there’s reeaally a legit reason as to why people don’t open up about these changes you head into because, if anything, it can actually make the process so much sweeter and perhaps spark your desires to keep going even more.
I posed a question to my big sister…
“what did you end up realising only when you started wearing hijab?”
..which ended up with us both questioning;
“why did no-one tell us that before?!”
1. The Hello’s become Salaams
This one is my personal favourite.
Yep, forget the everyday ‘hiya’/’hey.
Or if you’re a true Brit, it will be the infamous ‘you alright’ with no-one actually answering the question and never finding out if the other person is alright. (Why are we like this?).
Anyways.
Yes, the ‘normal greetings’ from other fellow Muslims now becomes an enthusiastic Salaam سلام and beaming smiles.
After all, with your hijab, you’re now visibly.. Muslim.
Before wearing hijab, maybe you did everything a practising Muslim woman would. Perhaps you very honestly and openly declared your faith. But like most things, we assume things only when it’s dead obvious to us.
Humans naturally need a big fat sign on things before putting two and two together — we can be quite oblivious in that sense.
So now that people have made the link between this scarf wrapped around you and the beliefs you uphold, you might notice a certain shift in their interactions with you… in a good way.
The fellow Muslim mums in the playground when you go to drop off the kids are now glancing over until they catch your eye just to give you a big Salaam and a warm smile.
Perhaps there’s another Muslim girl at your workplace that you didn’t have much in common with before, but now your lunch break conversations are endless.
Maybe that walk to town you do every day has become filled with Muslims offering their Salaams as you hold the door open or when you simply walk by.
Now this isn’t to say that only hijab makes you worthy of these sort of responses. No, nothing like that at all.
It’s like I mentioned before, you have just become more of a physical representation of what you believe in spiritually. And therefore others are using that as a gateway opportunity to embrace this.
One thing I will say is this;
The efforts you’ll display with other fellow Muslims and the smile you offer them because they ‘get you’; keep this energy with non-Muslim women too and be that true example to them of what Islam really is.
A religion of peace.
You now identify with a particular community and feel connected, right? Just be mindful of excluding those who might not understand because it will only feed into any negative pre-conceived thoughts that are already out there in the world about Muslims.
As you alter your appearance, alter people’s opinions too.
2. You must feel so oppressed.
Let’s lay this misconception to rest now, shall we?
Wearing the hijab is not a sign of oppression, in fact, it’s the complete opposite.
I wish I could capitalise the above line but I don’t want to sound like I’m screaming it but internally, I really am.
To be fair, I understand why people, that aren’t too familiar with the concept of hijab, may take this viewpoint.
This may be a misconception you’ll have to deal with slightly, but as long as you can politely navigate your way through that conversation, you’ll be fine.
Let me help you out.
Start with something like this — With society telling us that the “less we wear, the more beautiful we are”, of course we’re going to be conditioned to believe that concealing ourselves represents a complete lack of freedom.
You see someone in a hijab and people end up feeling sorry for them thinking they’re oppressed, depressed and well over-dressed.
Well, what if I turn this whole ideology on its head?
If society is telling us what makes us beautiful, and then we blindly follow it’s ever-changing rules, regulations and trends, are we not enslaved by society expectations?
Being ‘oppressed’ simply lines itself up perfectly with the idea of giving in to how this world dictates us to be seen as women and us not being able to escape that notion, right?
Aren’t we then being denied of our right as women to choose the way we want to dress because we refuse to contend to someone else’s (society’s) opinion of it?
Interesting when you flip it, isn’t it?
Well, for me, a huge part of concealing myself, including wearing the hijab, is breaking free from the shackles of this dunya’s definition of what makes me attractive.
Knowing that I’m being heard a little closer for the words that I speak and the views I so strongly believe in because.. that’s all people have to go off, thankfully.
Knowing that my character speaks for who I am, rather than people making their own judgement on who I am because of what meets the eye.
I conceal parts of myself ultimately for Allah SWT and the commands, but the personal reasonings for my hijab are limitless.
And what better form of liberation is there than stepping outside the box society tries to keep us within?
3. Men have hijab too?— Seriously?
YES.
Isn’t that enlightening and somewhat a small ‘ha’ in their faces?
100%.
Men have hijab too — Okay, maybe not the hair covering kind. But other kinds, for sure.
“Doesn’t this change the definition of hijab then?”
Well, if we fully grasp the concept of hijab, it’s anything that conceals. It refers to a range of attire and conduct that work to protect our modesty/Hayaa حياء
If this is what hijab means, then there are, in fact, a set of practices to live by for a modest lifestyle when it comes to men too! More heavily for the male species, it’s about how they conduct themselves behaviourally and their inner thoughts, too.
The male hijab includes the lowering of the gaze, avoiding unnecessary interactions with women other than wives and relatives, and clothes should cover from navel to knee at all times.
Islam isn’t here to lay out a set of rulings for us women and leave it there.
No, no.
Men have their guidelines just as much which are just as significant to follow as it is for us ladies.
Our version of hijab is also not to help men overcome their undisciplined train of thoughts, but to set a standard of self-respect for our own bodies and be recognised beyond what meets the eye.
Side Note:
Let this be a reason to not let anyone (males/females) disregard or downplay your struggles when it comes to wearing the hijab properly (which we all strive to do).
Remind them of their hijab too.
“Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their private parts; that will make for greater purity for them. Indeed Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.” 24:30
4. Do I have to change myself? You know, like, who I am as a person?
This one makes me sad when I hear new hijabi’s talking about how scared they are of having to now change their likes, dislikes, hobbies and their overall big personalities.
(Of course, if your previous hobbies and likes were things that are Islamically impermissible, then you should leave those things behind to better your relationship with Allah SWT.)
However, when we talk about how you love to be a bubbly, extroverted and sociable person, wearing hijab is not there to suppress your personality.
Often when people take a step towards improving their deen, they fear having to become boring, unsociable, and the furthest thing away from ‘fun’.
This isn’t the case.
You can still be the funniest member of your group of friends, you can still be the one who plans all the adventurous days out and still enjoy the blessings from Allah SWT in this life.
Yes, as women who identify themselves as Muslims, we have a duty to be even kinder, even more accepting and even more aware of representing Islam for what it really is. But alongside this, stay true to yourself no doubt.
You can also wear hijab whilst still learning about Islam too.
Another misconception is that once you start covering, you need to attain this epic amount of knowledge. But that’s the beauty of it. As Muslims we’re always learning, no matter what changes we make along the way.
I know for myself, these are just a few concepts I learnt whilst actually wearing the hijab as opposed to knowing it all beforehand, and perhaps it was the same for you.
Although all of our journey’s are so personal to us, finding some common ground on these things just makes navigating our way through it all just that little bit easier, I hope.
Until next time,
Anonymously,
Zara.
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