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An Open Letter To Donald Trump
Regarding These Fucking Tariffs
Yo’ Donnie!
You and me, we have to talk. I’m in Canada, yeah, fucking Canada and I saw on the news how you’re going ahead with these stupid tariffs.
Look, I don’t even hate you. I watched The Apprentice. I understand why you were elected. Sort of. I know you better than you know your damn self.
So I have to ask…
Are you a fucking moron?
No seriously. I’m not asking for a friend. I’m asking for me. Like, seriously, do you not understand the basics of economics? Do you not get how shit works? Or do you not fucking care?
First, let’s look at basic fucking economics. Maybe you missed that class. I didn’t. Tariffs are, by and large, passed on to the consumer. So, in a cost of living crisis, you’re cool to add 25 fucking percent to the cost of things. Sorry, I thought you promised to bring the cost of living down. My fucking bad.
Oh, but wait, you’re only putting a 10% tariff on our energy. Why, because you know you fucking need it, fucker. Watch out, your fucking weakness is showing.
You know what I’d do if I were in charge in Canada. I’d fucking add a 35% surcharge to our energy for the entire length of this bullshit chicken game you’re…
