Emily Fucking Hates Surprises
A Romantic Weekend Break
Six p.m. at last! Emily was too tired for plans. Ted Lasso, ice cream and bed was her Friday night agenda.
Ting! She looked at her phone. Jacob. What did he want?
💬 Look out your window.
She did. He was in the car park standing beside her car. He waved up at her.
Emily hated it when people turned up unannounced. Had she not said that to him? It was only six weeks in. She gave him the benefit of the doubt, smiled and returned a wave. She gathered her things and traipsed downstairs to meet him.
He jittered, hopped and simpered like a teacher’s pet eager to present a science project. Two wheelie carry-on cases stood with handles standing up to attention on the ground between him and her car. Its use was reserved for Fridays to hasten the route home.
The relationship was coming to the end of its trial stage. Soon decisions needed to be made.
Jacob started towards her, wrapping her and her work bag into a crushing hug. He inhaled her neck and grazed it with a kiss.
He stepped back. He grabbed one of her fists in his hand.
‘I’ve a great surprise. You’ll love it,’ he bounced.
The fuck I will, thought Emily.
‘I knew you wouldn’t mind. Sara said you would. I convinced her to pack a bag for you because I know she’s wrong.’
Ew, it wasn’t even her own case. How the fuck did he contact Sara?
‘I hope you don’t mind. I DM-ed her on X. I collected the case from her at your place.’
This relationship was plummeting deeper than the iron gwazi at Bush Gardens.
No one. Abso-fucking-lutely no one gets to see where Emily lives until she’s sure about them. To be fair, this flag was more amber than red. He didn’t know this about her.
He had no room mates. He assumed it’s why they stayed at his. For Emily, it meant he couldn’t outstay his welcome. She could leave when she needed distance. No come again breakfast for her.
She had spoken to him about Sara but had avoided the meeting friends stage to date.
‘So what’s in my bag?’
‘Oh no. It might ruin the surprise. It looks like our Uber’s arrived.’ He hailed the passing car over.
‘Do I need my passport?’
‘All good. Sara gave it to me. It isn’t necessary but some airlines prefer you to have one.’
She fucking did what!
It wasn’t until they were at the checkin line that she discovered where they were headed.
‘We’re going to Hawaii?’
‘Yup. You told me you’ve always wanted to learn how to surf.’
It was true. It was a childhood dream. She wanted to visit the observatory too. It was high handed of him but fuck it. She might give him a chance to redeem himself.
‘Jacob. This is an unexpected bonus but before we go, I need you to know something about me.’
He scrutinised her face. He was eager as a child on a birthday morning.
‘What?’
‘I appreciate the thought you put into this but I fucking hate surprises. If you ever do something like this again, I’ll be fucking off quicker than you can say Emily’s a fuckface asshole.’
He searched for any softness in her expression. He found none.
‘Noted. No more surprises.’
They checked in and headed off for their first romantic weekend getaway.
Who knows, he might be a keeper, thought Emily.
