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Shut the Fuck Up Already!
You See I’m Watching Something, Right?
I haven’t been to a movie theatre since about 2011. And even then it was because I got free fucking tickets. Have you seen the price of movies? For Carl and I to see a movie in a theatre, it’d cost a $50 fucking bill and then some for what would be a shit movie and even shittier treats.
Fuck that noise!
I’m not paying $50 to sit in a sticky seat, eating overpriced crap to watch whatever shit passes for cinema these days. And worse, I’m not paying to have all that ruined by some yappy pants fuckwit who can’t shut up!
It may surprise you to learn that I’m a very particular person. I like things done the right way. Invariably, that’s MY fucking way. Oh, and one of the things I simply cannot tolerate is 2 sources of fucking noise coming at me.
I may have 2 fucking ears, but they only want to hear 1 goddamned thing at a time, thanks.
Movie talkers pisse me the fuck off!
I still remember the first one I encountered. I mean, I’m sure there were other fucking “MENSA members” out there who yapped among themselves and annoyed me, but this fucking idiot was talking right at me.
The year was 1989. I was 17 and on a date with this young Army guy. Cool your fucking jets…