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Why Canada Won’t Become the 51st Fucking State

Despite Donald’s Boastful Blathering

Misty Rae
Another Fucking Publication

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Photo by Andy Holmes on Unsplash

Ever since Donald Trump called Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau the Governor of America’s 51st state, people have been up in arms. By and large, Canadians are incensed at the suggestion that we could just be taken over.

And millions of you Americans are doing what you do best, pounding your chests and acting fucking tough.

Don’t get me wrong, we Canadians are no better. We’re up here rattling our icicles like lightsabers as if there’s an actual threat to our beloved Boston Cream donuts. Personally, I prefer a fucking Canadian Maple, but you do you.

The whole thing is silly. It’s never going to happen. At best, Trump’s comments were a negotiation tactic meant to rattle Trudeau, who he sees as a weak and ineffectual leader (probably because he is a shit ass weak and ineffectual leader). He’s making fun of him. For fuck sake, people, get a goddamned grip!

At worst, he’s continuing with this pretend controversy to keep the focus off other things he’d rather we not be paying attention to. And people are falling for it left and right.

Even if the US did have aims to annex Canada, it’s not as simple as it sounds. I could go on for days about all the hurdles that would have to be…

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