§16 “Get your haircut!”: Uncovering Kingsley’s domestic comedy

Of the many contributions of reality TV to contemporary culture, one is the humorous exchange that can take place in domestic settings and between ordinary people. Outside of the heavily stylized and increasingly staged ‘reality shows’ such moments are rarely captured and must therefore be saved from falling into oblivion.

The following excerpt is one such moment. It is taken from Martin Amis’ memoir Experience (2000). It is a sign of Martin’s ability to identify the comedic quality in his father’s (Kingsley Amis) curmudgeonly commentary: *

‘ — Get your hair cut, said Kingsley doggedly. Get your hair cut.

There was no one else in the room, but he wasn’t telling me to get my hair cut. Over the years Kingsley must have told me to get my hair cut ten or twelve thousand times. But he wasn’t telling me to get my hair cut. The year, now, was 1984. I was newly married to an American academic called Antonia Phillips, and there was a child on the way. I didn’t need to get my hair cut.

— Get your hair cut … Get your hair cut.

This suggestion was being offered to the television set, more particularly to the actress Linda Hamilton every time she appeared on screen. We were watching a tape of The Terminator (again). An old science-fiction hand, Kingsley was a great fan of The Terminator, and seven years later he would make no secret of his admiration for Terminator 2 (‘a flawless masterpiece’), which I took him to at the Odeon, Marble Arch.

— Get your hair cut … Get your hair cut.

In Terminator 2 (1991) Linda Hamilton wore her hair up or back. In The Terminator, on the other hand, she was decidedly “full-maned, as people were then, in 1984.

— Get your hair cut … Get your hair cut.

— I hope you’re going to stick with this, Dad, I said. I hope you won’t weaken if anyone accuses you of being boring or repetitive.

— Get your hair cut … Get your hair cut.

— Because there are some who might point out that this film has already been made. Even if Linda Hamilton could hear you, and even if she thought it was a good idea, she couldn’t go back and get her hair cut.

— Get your hair cut … Get your hair cut.

— But don’t listen to them, Dad. You’ve set your stall out. Now it’s up to you to see this thing through.

— Get your hair cut … Get your hair cut.

After a while, when the action started and it became clear that Linda Hamilton wouldn’t have time or leisure to get her hair cut, Kingsley stopped telling her to get her hair cut.’

(Martin Amis, Experience, 2000: pp. 54–55).

To appreciate the tone of the monologue, see this video of Martin re-enacting the living-room TV experience by reading it out loud.

/Fred Weibull

* For an account of Kingsley’s life see L.A. Times obituary from 1995

Originally published at anowmedia.com on April 20, 2018.